THE LUNA CHOOSING GAME - Season 6 Episode 71

They’re not lies.

Julian didn’t say anything after that. Though, neither did I. I just gawked at him while he stared down at his bloody mary.

I wanted to ask him to go into more detail. If he could specifically tell me which of the things Bridget said weren’t lies, I wouldn’t be on such a downward spiral of thoughts. I wouldn’t be trying so hard to bend over backwards to convince myself that Julian didn’t actually have a crush on me somehow.

But, I supposed deep down, I already knew the truth. Not all that long ago, we had a similar talk on the beach as Julian threw rocks and shells into the ocean waves.

Yet here, in the quiet of the deck in this mid-morning, with Julian already halfway through a blood mary, everything felt a bit more dire, a bit more real.

This wasn’t about getting over Bridget or trying to move on. Bridget had very little to do with this at all. This time, Julian’s feelings were his own. And those feelings were all tangled up over me.

And now, because of that, I had to face my own true feelings as well. It would be unfair to Julian not to consider how I felt about him while he was being honest with how he felt about me.

Truthfully, even upon reflection, I didn’t know how I felt about Julian. I cared about him, certainly. He was funny and loyal. He protected me and looked out for me in his own way. He was good with Elva, always trying to treat her sleight of hand and card tricks.

He was handsome too. Leaner than Nicholas, but with a similar features. Although Julian always leaned more toward the ‘I got out of bed looking like this’ vibe, where Nicholas was always crisply dressed and put together.

If I hadn’t known Nicholas first, I could have easily been swept up in the whirlwind that was Prince Julian. He was certain to give his partner a life of adventure and joy and excitement.

But I had known Nicholas first. And I fell in love with Nicholas. My feelings for Nicholas were so strong, that I genuinely doubted if I would ever be able to give my heart to anyone else, even if Nicholas and I were to separate.

My heart would always be his. I wasn’t sure I would even try to find another. How unfair would it be to be the love of someone else’s life when they could never be anything but second best?

Julian was a great guy. Funny, charming, smart, great with kids. He deserved better than to live in the shadow of his older brother.

He was also a dear friend. One of my dearest.

I didn’t want to ruin that.

“I have no defense for my feelings,” Julian said. He spoke so softly, I didn’t realize he was speaking at first. I had to strain to listen, though as he continued, his voice grew stranger. “I know they are unwelcome.”

“It’s not that,” I said. “It’s just…” I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, especially with him being so brave to voice them. But to lead him on when my heart belongs to Nicholas would be so much crueler.

“Nicholas,” he said. He already knew, then. Of course he did. Even if Julian wasn’t the most observant of our group, and he was, I wasn’t exactly subtle with my feelings, especially in front of my friends.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be sorry for how you feel,” Julian replied. “You can’t control your feelings any better than I can control mine.”

I was grateful to him, but didn’t say so. I let the silence answer for me.

Julian drank more of his bloody mary. After a time, he said, “I would appreciate it if we could ignore everything that happened this morning and act as we always have before. I would hate for these pesky feelings to get in the

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way of what we are to each other.”

“Of course,” I said, relieved. “You are a dear friend to me. That will never change.”

He nodded. He smiled, and though it was a touch shakier than usual, he seemed relieved as well. “I’m glad. Thank you.”

Another silence followed, but this one didn’t feel as heavy as the one before. It felt a bit as if, with the air cleared, things were falling back into their proper place.

I believed we both wanted to move forward and leave this behind us, so I brought up the other question on my mind.

“You accused Bridget of knowing Prince Ronan,” I said. “Was that true?”

“You heard all that, huh?” he groaned. “Well, I’m glad I guess. I was hoping to uncover everything before I came to you, but maybe it’s for the best you know what I suspect, just in case it is a viable theory.”

I leaned forward with my elbows on the railing, mimicking his posture, and looked over at him.

Julian sighed. “I found evidence that Bridget and Ronan might have dated in the past. It’s shaky evidence at best. A few photos snapped from a paparazzi. But it at the very least proves they knew each other. The fact that she’s being so dodgy about it only adds to my suspicion.”

That was evidence impossible to dispute.

“I know that alone is not enough to prove her guilty of conspiring to send Ronan after you,” Julian continued, “But it is damn suspicious. She’s also stonewalling me. If she wasn’t guilty, wouldn’t she want to help catch the person who tried to kill you? Wouldn’t she help with the investigation?”

I could sense his frustration, and I understood it.

If Bridget was innocent, she sure as hell could help more. The only reason I could think of that she might not want

to talk about her full knowledge and relationship with Prince Ronan was if she was actually in love with him and trying to protect him.

But that seemed truly outrageous.

“I’ll find the answer,” Julian said. “She won’t stop me. I’ll keep digging.”

“Be careful,” I told him, voice soft.

He smirked slightly. “You know me.”

“That’s why I said it.”

He looked at me and our eyes locked. My heart warmed. He was a good man, a great friend, and I was blessed to have him in my life. I hoped he knew that. I hoped he understood how much I wished my heart was free to love him like he wanted me to.

“Thank you for looking out for me, Julian,” I said. “Not just in this, but in everything.”

He straightened and turned to me. I did the same.

“I don’t do it for you, Piper. I do it for me. Because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself otherwise.”

I smiled and shook my head. He was so ridiculous.

He held open his arms. “Hug and make up?”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” I stepped into him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he wrapped his around mine.

He held me for a long moment, and I was content, knowing he cared for me so very much.

The door to the main house slid open. I lifted my head just in time to see Nicholas step through.

When he saw Julian and me embracing, he froze.