TAMAR - Episode 5

Abel traveled the following day. He traveled to the master’s Port to supervise an ongoing project there, and he won’t be back till after five weeks.
I’ll really miss him while he’s gone.

When Zity didn’t need me, I helped other slaves to work around the house.
When Vim had his friends gathering party, different dishes were prepared and I was among the maids that served the guests. I noticed he was looking at me.

When I took the tray of spiced gizzards to him, I knelt down, which was normal but he didn’t pick any immediately. When I looked up to know if I could leave, I noticed he was looking at me. This made me jittery and my hands started shaking, which made the tray to almost fall off my hands.
He noticed my discomfort and quickly dismissed me…

When I was out of his sight, I took a deep breath. I wondered why he looked at me that way and why I felt quaked at his gaze.

Meanwhile, Zity laid in bed that morning and didn’t bother to get up. I prepared her bath, yet she remained glued to her bed. I instantly knew that something was bothering her. She had not been her usual self since yesterday. So, I went to her.
“My Lady, is there any problem? You have been in bed since morning and it’s past your bath time…”

“I can’t seem to get him off my mind, he looked as if he was truly carved out from Mars… Since that day, I had been thinking about him…” She shockingly said out loudly

”Who could that be, my Lady?” I asked quietly

“Chakan, that’s what he said his name was, the handsome young man we met at the museum. I think I’m in love with him. I don’t care what Zain is going to say, but I want to see Chakan again. I could have told him my name when he asked but I wasn’t interested in him at first, until I got home and remembered the way he smiled and looked at me. He said my beauty was like that of Aliah, the goddess of beauty. I have heard people say that to me but Chakan said it in a way that gladdened my soul… He looked at me like I was a goddess. I need you to go and search for him, either at the museum or anywhere. When you see him, tell him that I sent you to him. I’ll give you a note to give to him and some money to go to the merchant, who deals in jewelries close to the museum. Tell jewel dealer that I need a neck gold jewelry with goddess of luck inscribed on it. Also, buy another one so that I can replace the one I gave to Zain. If anybody, be it my brother, Vim, mother or father sees you and asks you where you’re going to or coming from, just tell them I sent you to the jewelry shop. Don’t ever mention Chakan to any body… Do you understand? Make sure you find him…”

I quickly left as she ordered me. I went to the museum and searched everywhere for Chakan but there was no sign of him. I went to the temples of their different gods and goddesses, I stood outside and waited as people trooped in and out, yet I didn’t see Chakan. I went to the market and different places, Chakan was nowhere to be found. I went back to the temples hoping he would come and worship but when I didn’t see him, I decided to go home.

On my way home, I saw Vim riding on his chariot with his friend. Before I could hide myself in the crowd, he saw me. He looked at me and I bent my head. He passed without a word.

I quickly ran to the jewelry shop and bought all I was asked to buy before heading back home.
Immediately I got home, I saw Vim standing outside.

“Where are you coming from? Why were you at the temple of twail, the god of thunder and storm? Do you worship at the temple of twail, because that’s the god that most men worship? Didn’t you notice that women were hardly seen there? There are so many female gods and goddesses you can choose from. What did you want in the temple of a god you were not in need of, or did you go there to pray to twail so that he could send thunder to strike your enemies? Are we your enemies? Did you go there to worship or what? Speak up!” He barked angrily at me

” I… I, no, my lord… I didn’t go there to worship… I lost my way. I was going to…buy jewelry for lady Zity…”
I brought out the jewelries to show him as evidence.
Zity had warned me not to let anyone know about Chakan which was the main reason I was at the temples.
“…here are the jewelries my Lord. I don’t have enemies…”

“Everybody have enemy.. most especially a common slaves. Run ahead now… I think Zity needs you. You can ask other slaves the gods and goddesses they worship, if you’re looking for a deity to cling to.”

I bowed and ran off. My heart was beating as I got into Zity’s chamber, who got up from her seat the moment she saw me enter her chamber. Her face lit up joyfully.

”Oh Tamar… I have been waiting for your return, I know the gods most have favoured you… What did Chakan say? Did he smile when he read my letter? Tell me… I’m eager to know… Speak up now…”

“I couldn’t find him my Lady, I searched everywhere and went to all the temples but there was no sign of him, I also…”

Before I could utter another word, she struck me hard on my face, then another heavy slap landed on my cheek. She cursed me and threw a wooden carved god close to her at me. She asked me to disappear from her presence and I did, as my forehead bled from the wound she inflicted on me.

She had sounded a serious warning on finding Chakan and said I shouldn’t come back until I find him and give him the letter but unfortunately after all the search I couldn’t find him and had no choice but to return back which landed me into a serious beating

I went to the out- house and washed my bloody face.
I later came back and sat close to Zity’s chamber after attending to my wound, waiting for her to summon me, if there was the need for it. It was until midnight that she called me into her chamber and asked me to tell her a romantic story.

As soon as I started, she shouted at me to stop.
”I have heard that story before, how many times do you want to tell it? I’m tired of all your stories, they’re becoming boring, everything about you is becoming boring! I asked you to go and find Chakan and you still couldn’t carry out that simple task. Get out of my sight now!”

I went to the fountain that night, where Abel used to sit and pray. everyone in the house, both slave and free born were all asleep at that time of the night. There was a full moon, and I had no one to talk to.
My heart was very heavy as I pulled off the shawl on my head. I knelt down and spread my hands wide and started speaking to God…

“My strength fails me… I lack words to describe how I feel. I derive strength from Abel, Now, he is on a journey.
God, I’m grateful for this household you brought me to, but serving Zity can be difficult sometimes. I don’t know how to reach her, I have told her all the Bible stories that father and mother use to tell us, I don’t have any again to tell…”
I sobbed quietly and continued,

“… I really miss Kath, Deb and Joe. I miss father and mother too. I need your help to remain strong… Help me God. Help me through every difficult time, help me to see you in all I do. I kneel before you with my hands spread wide for you to see me truly, I’m withholding nothing from you Lord… Fill me with your love and help me to know you more. In my weakness, please be my strength; when I’m afraid help me to remember that you’re always with me, I live for you Lord, only you, not the different gods of this land, I worship you Lord… I adore yo…”

”What are you doing out here by yourself… By this time of the night? while everyone sleeps, kneeling with your hands spread wide? Your hair shines as bright as the moon, crying out to an unknown god… What god do you pray to?”

I was shocked, startled as I saw Vim. I quickly stood up and covered my head with the shawl. He was standing under the Moonlight in his night wear.

I startled even more as he came close to me. I didn’t know what to say or do at this point.