TAMAR - Episode 22

The old physician came in Chakan’s absent, she came with Okra.

As the physician waits for Zity to get ready, I went into Zity’s chamber, shaking all over despite she has asked me not to come in unless I’m being summoned.

 I went in anyway angr!ly, I can’t watch Zity dra!n off this way, I can’t watch such ev!l.

it was better I was never born than to see the person I love so dearly to be dëcéived twice by an ev!l friend, who portray herself to be good. As much as I want to see the S@tan in Okra that is pushing her to be so ev!l exposed, I can’t help but blame her for allowing herself to be the dev!ls servant and she was dragging Zity into it.

“My lady you can’t do this…don’t do it… I plead with you…” I said pleadingly to Zity.

“I can’t remember asking you to come into my chamber, who are you to tell me what to do? Are you my mother, mother and father doesn’t even have that right to tell me what to do again or Vim, my brother, I will do whatever I want to do. you are just a common slave what do you even know, is my body and is nobody’s business, not even Chakan. I have already told Okra that I wash my hands off you, she will deliver you to Mandioh and he will feed you to his béãst. for you to have the gut to turn down my brother’s proposal, is not only an insúlt to him is a big insúlt to me and Okra is already planning on what to do with you. so you better get ready or better still pray to that your so called god to save you, otherwise you are at no ones mercy, the only person that could have protected you, who is my brother Vim, has washed his hands off you and I have washed mine off you too. now let’s see how you will get away from Okra’s hand, leave my chamber right now, oh wait, I need you to go and get me something in the market, the physician said I have to take a certain drug once the deed is done, so go to the medicine shop by the far end of the district, not the one close to the house or on the market road, I repeat far end of the district, go there and get the drugs I will write down for you. you must not hurry, just take your time so that you will not witness what will happen here because it will be bl00dy but by the time you will come back the physician will wrapped the embryø in a pieces for you to go and dispose off, you can dig ground at the flower cot and büry it…”

I felt cold all over as she gave me the prescription, written in a pieces of paper. I ran as my leg could carry me, like a crazy woman, even though she said I should not hurry so that I will not witness the act, I just kept running, when I got to the first market, I couldn’t continue as my leg began to shake, I don’t know what to do or where to go, or who to talk to, I don’t know how to reach Zity’s heart and convince her not to do what she was about to do. My heart was racing heavily, as i turn and ran back home. I didn’t go to the exact place she sent me or buy the prescription, my heart was not at peace, I can’t be part of that ev!l.

As I return so quick I saw Okra and the physician in Zity’s chamber, Okra was telling Zity to hurry before Chakan or me returns back, because she doesn’t like my presence where she is.

I walked in and Zity asked me why I was back so soon, and I told her I got to the market and came back.

 I can’t go, I was ängry inside, this ānger boiled like hot water as I stood before Zity, in the presence of Okra and the Physician, i boldly told her how I felt, I will receive bëâting or even wørst, I don’t care.

 someone has to tell her the truth and I’m the only one that can do that right now.

“I’m sorry to disøbëy you my lady, It has never happen before but I have to disøbëy you on this one, I can’t be part of this ev!l, if you have the mind to k!ll your child just because… Okra said so, then go ahead but I promise there will loads of regrët in the future awaiting you. I don’t care what you have to do to me but you have to hear the truth from somebody and since you can’t tell yourself the truth, since you are so easily dëcéived by your friend then I will tell you boldly to your face that you are about to embark on a journey of no return. you did the first one and got away with it, God will not forgive you if you repeat this, God will bring judgémént on you Okra and unto you Zity because you are not a child, you know the wrøng and the right thing. You wanted Chakan and not Adolfo and that was why you decided to k!ll Adolfo’s child, now what is your reason for trying to hürt that premæture baby, innocent seed God planted in you that is perfectly forming in your womb. what is the child’s offēnse, my lady? forgive my dáuntlēss speech, it has gotten to my real nerve that I can’t hold it all in or watch all of this in silent. when I thought you are getting better or gotten over Okra’s negãtivê influence on you, you will suddenly fall into a deeper one again. what is your main reason for this ev!l act, yes, Chakan had an affair, he knelt down and pleaded to be forgiven, he is only a human prone to mistakes, which he tried to make amend and when you have already forgiven and having a good life with your husband, Okra came back again and started putting negãtive idea into you, making you feel you don’t have a mind of your own, how can you be this fragile and easy to be convinced, I am not going to plead to you anymore not to abort your child, is your life my lady, like you said, but you will answer for everything you ever did, God will not spãre you if you hùrt thatprecious  soul. you can not dëstrøy what you did not create, a child forming in you womb was not made possible because you and your husband mate, is more of God’s work not by your effort, if your mother has abørtèd you or dëstrøyed you at an early stage there will never be Zity. You will never have opportunity to know what the earth looks like because you were given a chance to live also give another, don’t bring judgmënt upon yourself, let that child live. Even if you are not afrãid of God but you got a consciënce and deep down you know what you are doing is wrøng yet you want to do it so that you can prove a usëléss power that Okra is putting in your head, you already have power to do good. every other negãtivê feeling is not power, is a manifestation of the dëv!l. My lady you have a choice, life and dèãth is presented to you, good and bad is right within your reach, light and darkness is staring right into your eyes, make a wise choice, a choice that you will look back tomorrow and be glad you made it…

 “…you are no more a child Zity, you were even wiser when you were a teenager, when you face Zain your old friend at the museum, do you remember? she pointed Chakan and his friends to you and told you to walk with her so that she can make her pick among the boys and you plainly told her that you came to the museum to looks at the beautiful craft and art not to check out boys, I felt so proud of you right there and then. And now you are no more a teen, you are a grown woman, you suppose to be wiser than you were years back, you are suppose to know wrong from right and look forward to being a great mother to your children, beautiful God’s gift to you…

“… Don’t hürt that precious soul growing in you, if you do, you have hürt a thousand generation that might come from that single child, if you do you may not be able to conceive again, that child may be your last, you have being given second good chance to be a great mother and you want to throw it all away, there may not be another chance except if you repent and God decides to pardon your iniquit!es but it maybe too late Zity…

“…my good lady, live and let another live, the world is not just for you and I, is big enough and can hold everyonesße are other ways to punish Chakan for his sin if you still feel is necessary to do so, punish him but do not hurt him this way. Don’t k!ll your own flesh and bl00d, I know you love Chakan and he loves you, I also know you have forgiven him because you are a good woman and you got a good heart, you are just like your mother, lady Phin, she will never hurt your father for any reason because she loves him and has loved him ever since. Growing old with your father and watching her children grow is her greatest blessing, your mother didn’t raise you to be weak, you are already strong my lady, don’t allow anybody to dece!ve you. your so called friend, Okra, does not have a conscience, she sold it out to the dev!l long time ago, do not join her league because the end is filled with regrëts. don’t be among the gull!ble women she has misléad, even if you don’t want the child after birth there are a lot of us that will be so happy to have him or her, think of how happy you will make your mother and father with that child…

“… I know I’m nothing but a slave. Your mother gave me to you for a reason, I was a fourteen years old slave with a shaved hair and was not good to look upon. i was given to you by your mother and approved by your kind father, I was handed over to you to protect and to help you, is being almost ten years and I have never turn away from that. I have not failed in my services to you…

“…I will beg you for the last time my lady, please can you listen, even if is this once to this common slave that has served you all this years with all sincerity, can you…please my lady, don’t do this evil…don’t….”

Okra laugh sarcastically, sighed angrily before saying

“I wonder when a slave becomes bold to speak to her owner in this manner. Zity, is only a fool that will listen to a sensêléss speech from a commoner who insülted the kingdom by rejecting Lord Vim’s proposal just because of her stup!d god. Hope you are not considering any of those nonsénse she said, if you consider any of her words then that means that you are a weak woman. Remember is your body, is your life, you own nothing to anybody, whatever you do is your business. You were born alone and the day you will d!e you will d!e alone, so live your life now and do not listen to any negãtive sensêléss talk from a commoner, remember she will soon become food for Mandioh’s lions, for rejection your brother’s proposal and for disobeying you, is a double sin. hurry up Zity, we don’t have the whole day. this fo0l!sh slave has already taken enough of our time, the physician is running out of patient…”

“I can’t do it, Tamar is right. no one has arrësted my attention and make me have féår the way she just did. she made me to flash back on my life and I feel this is absolutely wrøng Okra. there’s other ways to pun!sh Chakan but not this way, I don’t want to do this again, I can’t do this. I don’t mind giving the physician money for coming to waste her time but Tamar’s word really got me. some of the things she said is worth thinking over, she maybe sl@ve but there is wisdom in her word, and she spoke unafraid. she wasn’t trying to impress with her intelligent word or please anyone, but to save me from doing another wrøng. I know is my body, I can do whatever I chose with it and I have chosen to keep this child, I may not survive this abørtion despite how simple it sound, yes, the child will be off in no time but my cønsciénce will húrt me for the rest of my life..”

At that moment, God made it possible for Zity to sit still and listen to all I have to say but Okra began to sow ev!l seed again in her heart, Zity began to look confuse.

Okra moved close to me but I wasn’t afrãid as I stared at her as if I got bullét in my eyes to shoot her and her wrinkléd physician out of Zity’s chamber and never to return.

Okra sláped me hard,   more släps followed, I fell to the ground as she kickéd me.

“Let her go Okra, carry out your frustrātion on me and not her. I was the one that decided not to go on with this abørtion, so be ângry with me not Tamar. leave Tamar alone, she was only looking out for me…she belong to me, do not pun!sh her on my behalf. Let her be please. I will pay for all your time wasted, your inconveniences and for disturbing your “well sorted physician”. I will pay but let all this end, don’t h!t Tamar again, she is mine and you have no right to h!t her in my presence…” Zity said in my defense.

“You watched her insúlt me and call me names and you did nothing, she said I was ev!l and I was dëcéiving you, she even mentioned my name without respect. you sat there and did not cäution her, I was just waiting for you to do something that was why I kept quiet and now you are even insúlting me the more. remember your brother said her god can have her, and you washed your hands off her that day as you were looking for a suitable pun!shment for her, well I will hand her over to Mandioh, I will tell him that you have a Christian slave living with you, just that information alone and it will cause an outrâge. I thank the gods that your brother is no more interested in her so he wouldn’t care if anything happens to her, it would have being impossible for anybody to touch her if your brother was still into her but now he washed off himself from her case, and you too did few days back. I will hold that dearly as I hand her over to her god, in few days time, your dear Tamar will have turn into wäste, like a poo to be excreted out in the animāl belle. her cārcãss will be among those scattered in the lion’s den. for that insult she gave me, I will never allow her to go scot free…”

“I take back my words Okra, when I said I don’t want her and her god can have her, just as my brother said, I wasn’t thinking. I do want her, yes, I want Tamar. I don’t want any harm to come to her…do not tell Mandioh that she is a Christian. Okra, don’t do that, you know how Mandioh hātes Christians, I apologies on her behalf if you feel insūlted I’m saying sorry for causing it all, it was all my fault, to have agreed for you to bring the physician when my mind is not fully made up. Let Tamar go, if anybody deserve to be thrown into Mandioh’s lion’s den is not Tamar but Shamara, I swap. take Shamara leave Tamar…please take no offence Okra with what Tamar said…”

“I take no offënce from you Zity but from a commoner having the mind to insúlt me. You gave her that wings but I will break it, your word can not be taken back, you have said it and it will stand. You hand her over to her gods so let’s see if her so called god can save her. I’m so certain no god can save her from the hungry béãst in Mandioh’s den. you can’t swap her for Shamara, both she and Shamara will become food for the animāls. Shamara’s offënce is one, which is going into your husband’s chamber and laying with him, well that is pretty forgivable. if anybody deserve to live then it should be Shamara but this uséléss girl here, her offence is a cup full. being a Christian is the greatest of all the offence and she knows she worship abom!nåble god yet she was never ashämêd or afrãid. she insülted me…and also insülted you but you chose to over look, that’s your business, me, I can’t over look mine. Another of her sïn is she turning down your brother’s proposal, which made him so ångry and he also sweär never to have anything with her again. How can she dare say no to Vim, a great seed of the soil, a very important young man, a well known man. she boldly insūlted him, how could she do that? now your brother has turned his back on her. Mandioh’s lion can have her, Mandioh will be so glad to watch his lion consüme a Christian girl. he finds it pleasurable. you may even call your brother to come and watch the show, it will be to his delight, he will be glad to watch her get consùmed and møck her god. Zity, I know you don’t want to abørt the child. Is fine, is your life I won’t push it anymore, but let’s focus on this your slave, she is a ßad omén. she took your mother and father’s love from you, you told me that they did not want to send her to you again, years back when you requested for her at Adolfo’s house, and when she came living with you at Adolfo’s house, Adolfo also took likeness to her and always wants her to keep him busy in his study instead of you his wife, and after you got married to Chakan, Chakan also liked her. She made your brother to also fall in love with her?all this I just said is it true, she doesn’t deserve to live or is there any lie in what I just said..”?

“Okra, please let it go. Yes, everything you said is all true but Tamar is a good person, I know I told you that my parents likes Tamar, Adolfo, Chakan and my brother fell in love with her, everything you said is true and it made real sense,  yet I don’t want any more trouble for her, I need all the help I can get here especially this time and when the baby will be born and Tamar is the only one that understands me, what exactly do you mean to achieve with all this…? Zity said, still trying to pacify Okra.

“You will get a better personal maid, more than your nugātory termite and what I’m saying is that…is because she is a w!tch, she bew!tched everyone around you to be on her side. your entire household and then your husband, Adolfo and Chakan, do you think is ordinary, Zity? Zity wise up, you have to be smarter than this, she has bew!tched you too and for you to break that power and hold she has in your family is by handling her over to Mandioh. Your brother eyes cleared up from her chärm, you too should quickly do same, if her god is powerful or she thinks she has power let her save herself from the lions. You are not doing anything bād to her you are only trying to break loose from her grip over you and your entire family. She is a hindrânce to the kind happiness I want you to experience. she knows Chakan was having affâir with a maid, yet she never told you. what kind of personal maid does that, she saw it and knew them to be together but never said a word or even tried to stop Chakan, she didn’t even stop you from going into Chakan’s chamber, she allowed you to see such ev!l that made you to colläpse. You sit there telling me that she is a good person, Zity think and think again if I’m wrong..”

Okra was really determined in turning Zity against me.

Zity sat quietly without saying a word, she breathed deeply and bent her head. This time I was on my feet relaxing by the wall, I was not showing any sign of féâr.

 I stood as if Okra was just making noise with her words, she gets more ångry anytime she looks at me and saw that I wasn’t afrãid and I was not going to plead like she has expected me to crawl to her feet and cry out to her like a god.

she saw there was no sign of féâr and it aggrāvâted her even more.

I am happy that Zity won’t be abørting her child again, I feel so much joy as she listened to me and changed her mind.

 If this is my only good deed on this earth then I’m fulfilled.

This fìght is not for me because I have no strength of my own but of the lord, who got me covered.

God will prove himself in a way they never expect.