TAMAR - Episode 11

I was in her inner chamber with the midwife as she implored Zity to push forth her baby. The midwife was brought by the merchant’s wife, Okra, and she was also present.

Zity was crying and appeared exhausted. I was encouraging her, the midwife was equally doing all she could to ensure she delivered safely.

Zity’s mother, Lady Phin could have come but she sent a word that Lord Reese was ill and as a result, couldn’t make it to her daughter’s house.

Zity on her own seemed happy when the news of her mother not coming got to her.

Adolfo was standing outside Zity’s chamber, pacing up and down. Everyone was so worried for her as she kept screaming.

After a long period of labour and pain, which obviously took a toll on Zity, she brought forth a son for Adolfo. It was a protracted labour.
However,she didn’t seem to be happy with the news of the arrival of her baby.

I was so happy and proud of her that she was now a mother, as the baby’s cry filled the chamber. Every necessary thing was done and Zity was quickly cleaned up. After cleaning and wrapping the baby with a very neat cloth, according to the midwife’s instructions, I took him to Zity, but she turned her face to the wall and refused to look at the child.

“Take him away, I don’t want him! Get him off my side, I don’t want to know what he looks like! Go and throw him away, I don’t want him… Do as I say, Tamar…”

”How can you not look at the handsome baby boy you suffered to give birth to?” I asked her, totally perplexed.

“..Please, take a look at him my lady, he’s a pure definition of perfection, he’s so adorable my lady… Please, take him and breastfeed him, he’s hungry.. my lady, please…”

Zity refused to look at him.
the merchant’s wife, Okra, shouted angrily at me,
“You this stubborn slave girl, are you deaf? Your mistress says she doesn’t want him, why are you disturbing her? Don’t you have breasts on your chest? Use them to feed him! Zity doesn’t want him, do you want her to have saggy breasts, or look haggard from all the troubles of taking care of a child? Didn’t you see the trouble she went through to bring him forth, of which, if not that I was busy during the early stage of her pregnancy, it would have been terminated earlier to avoid all this birth stress? Do you even understand the trouble of taking care of these things they call children? What you’re going to do now, is to find a way to dispose him, it’s so easy to do.”

I was just looking at her, completely disgusted as she continued ranting.
She continued

“..is about seven or eight or years ago, I was careless and took in, which I also failed to terminate on time. The gods punished me by giving me twins… I didn’t even know their gender or what they looked like. This midwife here helped me to dispose them quickly before Lami returned from his journey. I paid her and she did a clean job. I simply told Lami that I lost the baby, I didn’t even tell him that they were twins. I watched Lami weep like a baby, and I had always been very careful ever since… Don’t worry about Adolfo, this midwife and I will tell Adolfo and anybody that cares to listen that Zity lost the baby, and then, while everyone mourns, there will be enough chance for you to go and bury the child…Make sure you keep your mouth shut for the sake of your life, except if you don’t value your life…”

I started weeping, hoping that this was a bad nightmare. I could never do such, I can never put my hand to do such evil. If God made it possible for this baby to survive abortion and be born alive, same God will keep him alive because he has a plan for the child which neither Zity nor the merchant’s wife can cut short.

I held the little baby who was hungry in my arms as I thought of what to do. I was so angry.

I was so angry with Zity who was following the ways of her bad friend, Okra, and also falling away from humanity.

With bottled up emotions, I spoke angrily to the merchant’s wife without thinking as tears of sadness fell freely from my eyes.

“Why do you want Zity to be like you? How can you be so heartless, without any iota of human sympathy? You asked me to dispose a baby that is healthy and alive, just the way you did to your twins years ago, and you think there’s no consequences for your action? You’ll definitely reap what you’ve sown in the lives of many women you have deceived and every child you’ve masterminded their deaths… May all their innocent blood bring curses upon you. If you don’t turn from your evil ways, you’ll take your own life because a time shall come when you’ll give account of every evil you’ve committed…”

She rushed to where I was and slapped me hard on my cheeks. Like lightening, she turned and grabbed one of the midwife’s sharp tools and slashed my arm and my head, she pushed me hard and I fell with a heavy thud with the baby still in my arms. I held unto the little child as she kicked and punched me hard, all over my body. I protected the baby with my body so that he wouldn’t get hurt.

As the pandemonium was going on, I didn’t make a sound
She was ready to hack me to death but I trust my God, he won’t let that happen.
there was a hard knock on the door. The merchant’s wife immediately stopped hitting me to answer the door.

I was soaked in my own blood but still not in pain, rather, my concern was the newborn baby, who was about to be disposed off, who really wanted to relax on his mother’s arm and feed.

He was hungry.

I heard the merchant’s wife unlocking the door and stepping outside.
The person knocking was Adolfo.

Okra closed the door behind her and blocked the door, preventing Adolfo from entering
I couldn’t hear what she was saying to Adolfo so I moved far away from Zity’s bedside where I lay in the pull of my own blood with the baby still in my arms.
I walked to another part of the room where could hear their conversations.

Blood was running down from my arms and head but I wrapped the child properly, put him on the ground, so that I can clean the blood on my body so that it won’t soak into the new born baby

I picked up the baby again and wrapped him up in my arms
The mid wife was only staring at me strangely without a word and with the way I cuddle up the child, she had this pitiful look on her face.

I can clearly hear Adolfo and Okra speak from where I was

“Please is everything alright, there’s so much noise coming from the chamber, I thought I heard the cry of baby earlier? What of my wife and baby? Is everything alright?

”Your wife is alright, but the baby couldn’t make it… He died few minutes after Zity gave birth to him, and he took after the beauty of his mother. Is a great loss. what a pity! Adolfo, this is a sad news and a heavy loss because we all knew how much you needed this child… I’m sorry for the sadness that has befallen this family, and I know the gods will bless you and your wife with another in no distant time. We tried to keep him alive; the midwife did everything possible but he couldn’t stay…”

Adolfo wailed loudly. He cried out like a child in serious pain

“Ooh! What sin have I committed that the gods couldn’t forgive, which made them to decide to punish me in this manner? They could have taken me instead, and spared the baby’s life!” He lamented bitterly.

“..Can I come in to see my wife and also the body of my boy? I know he’s dead but I wish to behold his face before he returns to earth…”

“I’m sorry, Adolfo, but you’re the last person Zity wants to see right now, she’s not in a good condition and has made it clear that she doesn’t want you around her; and you seeing a dead child may bring badluck; it’s not a good sight to behold…” Okra said.

I was sitting on the floor as I still held the newborn in my army. The midwife swiftly mixed up something in a tiny baby’s bottle while the merchant’s wife spoke with Adolfo. The midwife was fast with whatever she was doing and she brought the concoction that looked like liquid milk, she aske me to feed the baby with it, but I vehemently refused to take it.

I refused to even look at it.

She bent down and whispered to my ear to take it and give to the baby so that he may live and not attract people with his cries. I looked at her and all I wanted to do was to scream out to Adolfo and tell him that his child was still alive but they wanted me to dispose him as if he was nothing,
But I was afraid for myself and the child whom Zity do not want to have anything to do with.

I knew what this kingdom do to women like the merchant’s wife who killed their children even before they are formed in the womb.
though they sometimes swept it under the carpet if the person is wealthy or famous, or came from a prominent family. At the end, it was usually the person that reported such act that would be punished.Some of them worshipped money, so, with it, many grave sins were pardoned.

I looked at the face of the midwife as she urged me to take it and feed the baby, I silently prayed it was not a poisonous substance that would finally kill the baby. I took it from her and did as she directed, she whispered again to me and said,
“Trust me, Tamar, if you can’t find anywhere to keep the baby safe and away from Zity and the merchant’s wife, bring the child to me… I will give it to a childless woman who lost her husband many years ago, she’s a poor widow, and she is the one that has been taking care of Okra’s twins… Some years ago, I was asked by the merchant’s wife to dispose her twins, during the time she just got married to the merchant. Lami travelled when Okra had the twins and refused to look at them, just the way Zity behaved today. She paid me a huge amount and asked me to inject a deadly venom that would make them to die quickly. I pretended to have done that before taking the babies to the widow, who lived in the outskirts of the kingdom, and I gave her the twins to take care of, making her to swear she would never tell anybody, which would risk my life. She promised she wouldn’t betray me and had since then, kept her promise… Ever since then, Okra had always found a way to flush out any her babies, before her pregnancies could be detected. It’s been eight years since the twins were born, yet, neither Okra nor her husband knows that they have children who are hale and hearty somewhere. Everyone has forgotten except me and Rhonda the widow. I send money to them from time to time, but I’m glad that the widow now has children to call hers… So, my dear Tamar, no time for long story… I’ve written where I live on this paper, take it! But please don’t come to my house with this baby to avoid being seen. I’ll be at a hidden corner on the road, waiting for you tonight. Come when it has become dark. Again, wrap the baby properly, and bring him to me. Be careful to avoid being seen or followed…”

I’m glad that zity was in a faraway side of her big chamber, still facing the wall.
She can’t hear what we’re talking about neither does she care to know.
All she wanted was for me to get rid of the baby.

I listened with keen interest to the midwife who stood up immediately Okra came in. Zity was still lying at the edge of her bed and has refused to turn.

After the midwife left, Okra turned to me and fired,
“You’re so lucky I’ve not sent you to your early grave, I do more than this to slaves that think they’ve grown wings, and I’ll do even worse to you, or I will ask Zity to deal with you if you ever dare to disrespect me, or talk back at me again! Just get ready to kiss the world goodbye next time you try this, after all, you’re nothing but a common slave and your death doesn’t mean anything to anyone. You must do as I say! Get rid of that baby tonight and dispose anything that will remind Zity of him! She needs to put it behind her and move on with her life, do you understand me?”

”Yes…my lady”, I responded meekly.

When Okra later left, I hide the things that the midwife gave to me. I kept giving the content of the bottle to the baby as I laid him far away from his mother, who shouted at me that she didn’t want to see or hear any cry of a baby in her chamber.

She wanted everywhere to be thoroughly scrubbed and cleaned.
Everything that reminds her of the baby needs to be taken off.
As night came, I called Eura to help me finish up with the cleaning of the room.

“If anyone asks of me, tell them I’ve gone to lay the baby to rest, and won’t be back soon…” I said to Eura.

Eura then whispered to me, ”Adolfo has locked himself in his chamber as he mourns the lost of the baby.The household is saddened with the news of the demise of the baby, may the Lord comfort everyone, especially Lady Zity and Adolfo… I hate to see Adolfo sad, and you Tamar, I know if it was within your power, you would have done everything possible to save his life.”

She paused as she noticed the fresh wound on on my arm. She exclaimed, ”
“…You have a big wound on your forehead and arms! What happened? I guess it’s Lady Zity, she transferred her aggression on you, as if you’re the cause of her son’s death! I’m sorry for your pain, may the Lord almighty be with you always…”

I thanked Eura for her kind words before went inside where I hide the baby.
I wrapped him properly as the midwife instructed. I took all my shillings coins and put them in a pouch.

I doubled my steps as I rushed along the road and met the mid wife where we agreed to meet.

She was already waiting and we left immediately.

It was a very long walk to Rhonda’s place. The night was covered with thick darkness when we finally got there.

The midwife called her and she came out. I was surprised to see that Rhonda was very young, because I was expecting to see an elderly woman, but I stood face to face with a beautiful young woman with a disarming smile.

After speaking with her and she promised to seal her lips, I handed the sleeping baby over to her.

Rhonda’s face lit up happily as the baby was placed in her arms. The midwife gave her some money and I also gave her all my shilling coin in my pouch because Rhonda didn’t have a stable income and she said that one of the twin girls took ill recently but she was already stabilized. They were both sleeping soundly inside.

She took us inside where her two daughters slept peacefully.The midwife and I later left so that we could get back home before daybreak.

I was so tired when I I got home in the early hours of the next day. I was completely exhausted and after I finished what I was doing, I took my bath and laid awake because sleep eluded me.

I only stared at the roof while tears effortlessly poured from my eyes as I thought of the loving baby I handed over to Rhonda, who would grow to become a son to her, just as Okra twin girls i have become Rhonda’s daughter
She maybe a young widow but now she’s comforted with both son and daughters from the Lord.

I wondered how possible it was for a mother to forget a child she bore.
immediately I thought of it, a word dropped in my mind, it was as if God was speaking directly to me.

“Can a mother forget her little child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even though she may forget but I, your maker will not forget you… See, I have written your name on the palm of my hand, you are precious and you are mine…”

I quickly stood up and turned on the light to check if somebody just spoke those words to me because it sounded so real, but nobody was there except Eura who was sleeping peacefully.

I laid back and shut my eyes. I smiled, knowing that it could only be God who whispered those words to me.

I knew the baby would be alright because he is safe in the hollow of God’s hands; he is protected, just as the twin girls.

I slept off, knowing that God was at the centre of it all, and it was a dreamless slumber.