SEARCHING FOR A MATE - Season 7 Episode 76

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Trinity

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The moment that I stepped into the flow of the ‘traffic’ I felt myself being pushed and pulled in a million different directions. It was hard for me to keep a hold of the boys, but I refused to let them go. And I also refused to move at the speed that the souls around me wanted me to.

Instead of me moving like they tried to force me, I slowed down and stood my ground to force them all to go around me. Oddly enough, once I made one person move around me, all of the others followed them. It was like they were nothing more than a never-ending stream of mindless lemmings. All of the ones in the back only followed the leader. Wherever I moved the first one the others would just blindly follow him.

Now that I was forcing them to move around me, I was able to stop and get a good look of the area around me. Not to mention, now that they were moving around me, the three little boys clinging to me didn’t have to worry about being swept away.

The sign that I had seen earlier was not doing this place justice. It was way bigger than I thought that it was. Just being here, looking at the various halls and terminals leading off of this section told me that I hadn’t nearly grasped the size of this airport of souls. It was easily hundreds of times bigger than the biggest airport that I had ever been in.

“What is this place?” I wondered out loud, only to have the other me respond.

‘This is the Hall of Regrets. This is where all the souls too hung up on what they couldn’t do in life get sent.’ She, like always, was straight to the point when she explained a part of the underworld. Now, if only she could have been that straightforward when we were having our ‘discussion’ in the Hall of Self-Reflection.

“OK, so these people all regret something. Is it that they regret not doing something or that they regret doing something?” That was a stupid question to ask, only because it didn’t truly matter, but I asked it anyway.

‘It can be either. However, I feel like those that get lost in this place are more often than not, the people that regretted not doing something. If you start to focus on them, use your Goddess ears rather than your mortal ears, you should be able to tell what it is that they are all saying. It’s loud here, is it not? You should be able to hear their words. Try to focus on one at a time, that way you do not get overwhelmed.’

“Alright.” I was apprehensive, but I guess it couldn’t hurt to see what they were saying. At the very least, I could see what the souls of this part of the underworld felt.

I knelt lower to the floor, hugging the boys to me tightly so that they couldn’t be separate from me. I closed my eyes so that I could concentrate and started to think more like a Goddess than like a mortal.

It was hard at first. And I felt like I looked like an idiot as I searched the area around me. I could hear the sounds of the voices but hearing the words one was saying was like trying to make sense out of nothing.

At first, all I could hear was a sound like the disgusting scraping and chirruping that ants made only a lot louder and repeated millions of times. It was too much for me and I just wanted to cover my ears again. I didn’t though, and after a while, I was able to focus on one chirrup, or voice in particular.

It was a man’s voice and he was probably in his mid twenties. I focused in on his voice and heard the words that he was saying.

“Why didn’t I tell her? Why did I leave without telling her what I truly felt? Things could have been different. I might not have been there for the accident. We could have been happy. We could have had a family.”

This man sounded like he regretted not telling the woman he loved about his feelings. He sounded heartbroken and lost. It was a major life changing decision for him and he never had the guts to do anything about it.

I focused on another person, trying to hear their regret, their voice. It didn’t take me as long as it did before. This time, was easily able to work past the disgusting chirruping sound to hear the true sound of his voice below.

“WHY?! Why didn’t I do it? Why didn’t I accept the job? Why didn’t I take the leap? Yeah, sure, I would have had to move across the country and I would not have seen my family as much, but then I would have been happy in my career. Instead, I lived my life in mediocrity, never fulfilling my passion or my potential. I let that job suck the life out of me. It stole my soul and I was miserable! Why didn’t I take the job?!”

This man had been older, he looked and sounded like he was close to or just past retirement age. And he looked, and sounded, like he had been miserable for most of his life. I can understand why he felt so insecure at the time, and I could also understand why he regretted the decision that he made. He didn’t want to leave his family, even though it meant taking a better opportunity. That’s a hard choice.

OK, one more, then I will be done with the regrets. I don’t know why, but I needed to hear one more. It was like some sort of morbid curiosity for me. So, I focused on one more person, another man who was in his thirties. He was severely overweight and looked like he had actually enjoyed his life.

“WHY!? Why didn’t I have that dessert? Why did I choose that night to go on a diet? Why didn’t I just eat the rest of the cake that was sitting there? It’s not like it would have mattered anyway. I was killed by a random idiot on my way home. I should have savored what was my last meal. Honestly, if I would have stayed at the restaurant to eat more, I might not have died. I might not have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Why didn’t I just give in to temptation?”

OK, I am sad that he was killed, that isn’t good. However, is it bad that I wanted to laugh at him for having his everlasting regret be over dessert? That didn’t seem like something that should have kept him here in this place. In my opinion, he needed to move on and get out of here.

Then again, maybe food was his whole life. And if that were the case, missing out on something like that right before you died, I guess it could have a lasting impression on your soul. I am only guessing here, grasping at straws, really.. And I was doing my best not to laugh at him.