MY MAJESTY - SEASON 5 EPISODE 99

She stood at the window, staring at the grounds of the castle, noticing things had turned back to normal as if nothing had happened two days ago. Her dark brown hair had been tied into a braid, and her eyes looked empty. Since Beth had seen Raphael die, the incident had left her shaken. As hours passed, the reason about his death only sunk into her mind, in the realization that she was the reason why he was dead.

Her green eyes continued to stare at nothing in particular while she was in deep thought, alone in the large room she had once craved for. Madeline had spoken to her last evening, consoling her that it wasn’t her fault, but she knew that it was her fault. So far, all her decisions had brought nothing but ill omen towards people near her, and she wished for it not to happen again.

Remembering the blood covering her hands that was red and warm, belonging to Raphael, Beth stepped away from the window. She had been having a disturbed sleep as every time she was pulled into her sleep, she was woken up with the memories of what happened in the forest. There were moments in her dreams that turned the scenes even bloodier with gore than what had happened in reality.

Turning around, she walked towards the bed and bent near the pillow. Lifting the pillow in one of her hands, she reached for the plain card that she had placed under it. It was the card of the fool. Beth remembered when Raphael was still alive and held this card, it had a picture of a clown on it, but since he had died, the markings on it had disappeared as if to confirm the card owner to not exist anymore.

Placing the card in her pocket, Beth stepped out of the room, making her way towards the front side of the castle corridors when she met Madeline, who was walking towards her.

“Good morning,” Beth greeted Madeline with a bow.

“Good morning, Beth. We will be going to the graveyard. Would you like to come along with us?” asked Madeline, knowing her sister would like to visit Raphael’s grave.

Beth nodded her head, “Will you be leaving right now?” she inquired.

“Probably in an hour. Calhoun said he has to attend a meeting with the ministers and the magistrates of the villages and towns. We’ll be leaving once he is free,” informed Madeline. “Did you have your breakfast?”

Beth offered Madeline a smile, “Yes. The maids brought it to the room.”

“That’s good,” Madeline placed her hand on Beth’s shoulder, “Are you feeling alright now?” She had been worried about Beth since they had found her in the forest. It was like something had snapped in Beth’s mind, and she had turned completely lost. Madeline had made sure for the maids to attend to her sister when it came to bathing or eating her food timely.

Madeline had never seen Beth in this condition before, and it worried her.

The smile on Beth’s face fell as she couldn’t hold it long on her face. Both the sisters stepped out of the castle corridors and entered the garden. Sitting in one of the benches, Beth said,

“I don’t know, Maddie. I feel like I am drowning in the guilt for what happened. I have done a lot of things in the past, things I am ashamed of, but this beats them all,” she held her hands together on her lap, staring at the trimmed bushes that surrounded them. “I know you told me not to worry or think about it, that Raphael knew that it might cost his life…but it doesn’t make things easier.”

She had never wished for someone to die by her hands. In the past, she had tried to poison the King, but she doubted it was what she wanted. She had blindly followed Markus’ words, wanting to please the man and get his praise, not realizing what she was going to do.

Madeline furrowed her eyebrows, hearing Beth’s words.

“Don’t let his effort go in vain, Beth. When Raphael received the glass vial that had the antidote, he knew making you drink it would not be easy. But he wanted to help you, save you from what you were going through so that you could continue to live as before,” Madeline tried to comfort Beth.

Beth shook her head as if not wanting to accept what had happened. “If only we could go back in time. So many things could be fixed, so many lives could be saved,” whispered Beth. “How do you continue to live, Maddie? Knowing you have killed people. Does sleep come easily without any hauntings?” she turned to meet Madeline’s eyes.

In Madeline’s case, the people she had killed were the ones who had committed grave sins, but in Beth’s case, she had injured Raphael when she was in her werewolf form. Madeline wondered how long it would take until Beth would finally make peace with what she had done.

“Sleep does come when I go to bed,” replied Madeline to Beth’s question, “But the dreams aren’t all good. Most of them are disturbing with what has taken place in the past, and sometimes even things you believed to have justified yourself, it comes back. The worry never stops, until I am wide awake knowing what happened was in the past, and not something that is going to happen.”

There had been recurring dreams where Madeline had dreamt about Calhoun lying dead next to her. It was around the time when she had killed the head maid of the castle.

“You are not a complete werewolf right now. Because some part of the antidote worked on you, and you can now control when you turn and don’t want to,” said Madeline.

“I would have been fine being a werewolf. It’s not like I would have remembered anything anyways,” a dry smile appeared on Beth’s face. And no matter how much she wished she could fix things, it had broken without any possible repair.