MATED TO THE ALPHA AND HIS BETA - Season 5 Episode 80
Stella
I wanted to belong with the crowd in a place like The Silver Crescent, but I didn’t. Not yet, anyway. Nor would I, not without some help I couldn’t get from the library in my head or even from the Moon Goddess. I didn’t even bother reaching out to her. She couldn’t possibly be bothered with something as mundane as my stupid little yearnings.
I guessed there were some things no supernatural talent would ever be able to give me.
As soon as I was sure my aunt wasn’t going to get kidnapped and brutalized, I ducked out of the bar. The night air was wonderfully cool against my face, which still felt puffy and hot from the weeping fit I’d had in the restroom. I let the breeze waft over me with my eyes closed for a minute, until the doors opened behind me, and I heard people coming out.
Their laughter still made me envious, but I kept myself in the shadows so I didn’t catch their attention. A couple helped each other down the sidewalk. The pulse of their sexual energy was so strong I didn’t need to use any special skills to feel it. I could practically smell it.
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The doors opened again, letting out another courting couple and a surge of music that thumped all through me. It didn’t make me want to dance anymore. All I wanted to do was get home, sneak back inside the house without anyone seeing me, and crawl under my covers.
This time, I took the risk and let myself fly.
Not up into the air, like a bird with flapping arms in the place of wings. I just drew on the ability to make myself weightless. My body rose a few inches, so the tips of my toes barely skimmed the road, and I pushed myself along by manipulating the air currents. It was much faster even than
running as a wolf would have been, but it wasn’t very fun. It made it hard to hold onto my different face and body, too, but that made sense.
Stella Constantine was the Celestial, not Elleah Whitehaven.
My first night out had been an utter failure, but I didn’t have any more tears left by the time I made it back to the mansion grounds. There were still a lot of lights on. I paused on the very edge of the lawn, among the trees, and opened myself up to see if I could sense my parents. They were all still awake. Dad and Abba were in the dining room, having a very late dinner. Papa was in his office. Mom was checking in on the twins, who were asleep.
Guiltily, I realized I hadn’t even seen Alaina or Isaac today. The distance between us felt so much bigger than it had before. They were still very much children, but what was I? Something caught in between two places…I hadn’t been alive long enough to call myself an adult, but I’d never really ever been a child.
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Inside that house, my family was settling in. They were happy to be in the place they considered home. Even Abba was feeling more at ease. The pack had accepted him.
I was the only one who didn’t really belong here, and I had to accept that it was possible that I never really would.
Abba’s idea had been a good one, but the experiment had failed.
I didn’t feel like taking the risk of running into any staff or—worse—my parents, so instead of letting myself in through any of the doors on the ground floor, I let myself get even more weightless. I drifted upward to my bedroom window. I considered letting myself keep on going, up, up into the night sky and then just…flying away. Somewhere, anywhere, to a place where nobody knew my face as I usually wore it. Maybe all the way up to the Moon’s broad silver face.
“You are loved. Do not despair.”
The sweet, soft whisper tickled my ears as I used a pulse of strength to unlatch my window from the inside. I slid it open and floated into my room. My feet touched down lightly, but I was breathing as hard as if I’d run up a mountain.
“Moon Goddess?”
But she didn’t answer me or send a vision. All I had was those six words imprinting on my mind. I knew I was loved. That had never been the issue. What I wanted…what I needed…was more than the love of my parents, though.
I needed to know my purpose. Until then, until I knew why I was here and what lay ahead for me, everything else was only going to feel like a placeholder. For tonight, though, the comfort from the Moon Goddess would have to be enough.
It was all I had.
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