JUST A LITTLE SIN - Episode 14

Molly was sent off to the city to learn tailoring.
Her love triangle with Juru came to a stop after his bike accident which is well deserving, although he almost died or get deformed.

Juru did way too much and deserve to be punished.
I warned him about my sister and several other things but he wouldn’t untill nature stroke him hard.

Unfortunately it was the day of the village big market that he ran into a truck carrying loads of goods for traders right in the middle of the market road.
while the crowd were confused on what to do with the half dead Juru on the floor, his damaged bike and unconscious self with blood all over him, he lay helplessly on the ground, Mama who happens to be there at the market and close to the accident scene rushed down to help and with the help of two other women they rushed him to a nearby clinic.

Mother goes to visit him with food and fruits until he was well enough to be discharged
He thanked Mama for her kindness and disappeared after then, never to be seen again.

He did not even know that the woman that helped him was my mother. What a world.

Is over a year and no sign of Juru.
That was the end of his association with Molly and Molly who never agreed to leave the village to the city started desiring for that same thing.
Mama sent her forth and Molly will be free from learning fashion design in few months from now.

Life is moving on for everyone and maybe a little for me. There used to come a time when it remains stand still, Without making effort to move.

I don’t know if this hurt will ever go away, the wound refuses to heal.

Why did she have to go at the exact time I needed her the most.

I flashed back and remember walking into that room that very day, I saw her lifeless body on the bed. I saw the baby wrapped up in the arm of the nurse.
I saw mama on the floor, helplessly sitting and weeping.
I couldn’t believe she was gone then or even now.

It still felt like I will one day wake up and see her, get married just like we planned and live happily ever after.

I grabbed her body, I didn’t mind if I was covered with her blood, is not possible for Oni to die, not after all our plans.

They tried to hold me but I was going crazy, I wanted to die with her.

I have never loved so much in my life and didn’t realized how much deep I was into her until her death.

Maybe I had a teenage fantasy love thingy for Dunfi before her own death came but with Oni, she was like the breath I take.

I wondered how it took me so long to realize it.

Just the time I turned good and ready to be responsible the enemy took me unaware.

No matter the talk or advice I got from mama and friends I still can’t move past the guilt and pain that I feel daily.

I could have done better to protect her but I didn’t.

It will always be my fault, I don’t care if her spoken words brought about her death but it all started with me.

If I haven’t done what I did, maybe she would have still be alive and without any pregnancy.. probably.

If I decided to move on what of the nightmares, yes. The terrifying dreams are always paying a visit to me every night.

Oni falling into a pit and calling me for help but before I will be able to caught her midair and save her it will be too late.

Sometimes it will be a house fire, a falling tree, a river about to gulp her down, a strong wind like tornado, a ground suddenly breaking open and she slipped into it.

All of this different time and dreams Oni will always call out to me for help before the danger consumes her.

I have never been able to save her, not even once.

Mama said I should go back to the city and stay for a while again.
I agree, i need to escape before it drives me insane and into the bush again.

Onmi is in safe hands and I will be sending money home anytime I get something doing, for her school and upkeeps.
Mama is trying and isn’t complaining but I can’t leave all the loads for her.

Onmi is my responsibility now because even her biological father does not even know she exist or that Onmi belongs to him.
I dislike this man but Oni make me promise not to confront anyone or let anybody know that Onmi isn’t mine.

Odez bad said the father of her baby should be given money for two plot, it was later that I realized it was a proverb.

Odez didn’t literally meant real money but it was a mockery riddle I needed to solve and I wouldn’t have been able until Oni told me who was responsible.
Shamelessly not knowing what his deed caused.
Oni’s secret will remain safe but I don’t know for how long before I explode.

By next week, I’m living for the city again and hoping the mental and emotionally trouble that have strike me again will finally leave me alone.
I know death is inevitable but Oni’s death was avoidable and I’m left with her daughter, my daughter who’s in my mother’s care.

Due to all the circumstances surrounding her, I hardly stay with her for long.
Onmi reminds me alot. is unfortunate she came into a painful world loosing her mother way too early and did not get the chance to suckle upon her mother’s breast.

I don’t know when all of this will be over, I don’t even know if it will even be over but like Larry said, is only the living that has hope.
I’m hopeful that no matter what, my hurt will one day disappear but for now I will bear it’s heaviness until the load is off my shoulder.
The city will be helpful. Yoara, my step brother knows better not to disturb me with religion.
Maybe someday I will be ready to really listen to all he’s been saying but not now.

I just want to live and forget the hurt of the past.
Is three years already and it still feels like yesterday.