IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS - EPISODE 28

Lavender’s viewpoint

I waved my hand to shoo the person away. Whoever the person was, he was disturbing my sleep. I knew it was a he and knew who the he was because he is the only he with big hands in the house. What I couldn’t understand was why he was waking me up at the middle of the night. What happened to me getting a good sleep today? I was still tired from the stress he has put my body through, and of course, jetlagged. Rominic of all people should know never to wake me up because I’m a monster when that happens.

Wait, he did know that.

I opened my eyes sharply and turned, looking over my shoulder to see his face. Rominic looked extremely worried and confuse. I rubbed my sleepy eyes as I pulled myself up to sit, yawning a little. “Laverne, Rylee needs your help, like woman to woman help.”

“What happened? Finally told you what’s wrong?” He nodded. “Does it have anything to do with Phineas?”

“She’s pregnant,” my eyes widened with disbelief, I blinked puzzledly. “Yes, she’s pregnant and she won’t stop crying…”

“And you left her,” I whispered harshly. I jumped out of bed, kicking the duvet off. I wore my slippers and stood up. Rominic followed behind me. It was late so we didn’t want to wake Kara up, or all hell would break loose. If she finds out now, the situation would not be handled as Rylee wants and that would make her vanish, again. She had the habit of running away when faced with overwhelming situation, according to Phineas and Rominic that is.

I walked into her bedroom to see her sitting on her bed, hugging her knees and crying into her forearms. Trust me, darlings, for a woman like Rylee to be seen in such a vulnerable state is not a sight for sore eyes. I put on my most ecstatic smile and flopped on the bed, making her raise her head. Her cheeks were wet, winter gray eyes glistering and lips shaking. She looked terrible. With how much she had cried, the dark makeup concealing her swollen eyes had washed away. She must have been crying for days before our returned.

“Why are you crying, Rylee? What exactly is so sad about this good news?”

“Good news?” She asked with disbelief, “you call this nightmare good news? How is it good, Lav Lav, how? I’m carrying a man’s child in my belly, a real living child,” she said with a tone that said she herself didn’t believe she was pregnant. She was still trying hard to face the reality of her actually carrying a baby. I understood, if you’ve notice, Rylee is not an ideal mother material and she knows it. What this was about was fear.

“The man is Phineas, the love of your life…”

“The reason I still breathe, my everything,” she interjected, “and that is what I’m afraid of. For so many years I’ve held him back selfishly. I never wanted marriage, no children or even love, but I ended up falling desperately and breathlessly in love with him, loving him so selfishly and greedily to the point letting go makes my heart stop. We’ve always loved each other, even if we have never said it. Our relationship is complicated, you all know that. We have gotten use to the way we live, the way we govern our relationship, and so many times Phineas have begged me to marry him or make us officially official or even give him one child, so he can have something to hold on to. I just… He has always wanted a family with me but I’ve blown him off over and over and over and over again but he keeps coming back. He loves me as much as I love him but…but… Lav Lav, look at me, do I look like a wife or mother material? I want to marry him but look at me, I’m nothing close to being a wife let alone a mother! How am I suppose to cope?”

“Phineas would be so happy, he would be very glad to know about the pregnancy but I don’t know if I can do this and I can’t delete this child. I can’t be a mother. I look like devil’s daughter. I have piercing on my eyebrows and lips, extra ear piercing and tattoos. I dress like a hooligan, act like an idiot and know nothing about children. Did you see what I gave to your children? What kind of presents is that! Is that what I’ll give to my children?…” I covered her mouth with my palm to stop her from screaming. Her eyes fogged up with tears again before she broke into tears, again. I slowly removed my hand. “I don’t want to lose Phineas, it is my greatest fear. I know I would lose him eventually, we are in our late thirties, he need a family for himself. I need to stop wasting his time. Do you know how much his mother hates me? His father sees me as the poison eating away at his son’s life. I want them to love me but I don’t want to be a disappointment to him or my children. How would they proudly call me their mother in public? Just look at me!”

“Rylee, stop. Stop doing this to yourself. Listen to me,” I grabbed her palms as she shook her head, “Ry, listen to me,” I whispered, “you are not a bad person. You might be crazy, and completely insane, but everything dark about you is what keeps him tied. He would never leave or be disappointed. I know how you feel, I’ve been there. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was worried. Would I make a good mother? How could a foolish person like me mother a child? How would I feed it? How would I clothed it? Wouldn’t it be better to abort or give it out for adoption? And then I had five! Rylee, you don’t know how it felt. At least you know yours loves you, you know he would rather die than leave you. I didn’t. To me, I was the rejected bitch, the homeless fool. Many things was enough to stop me then, but I didn’t fall. You wanna know why? I made changes to my life to suit them. I might not have deserve to be a mother, but I worked hard to be the mother my children adore. I changed myself to be good enough for them.”

“Rylee, loving someone should be enough to make you want to change. If you think you are not good enough to be a mother, then make yourself good enough. If you think you are not good enough to be his wife, then make yourself good enough. You have lived this life for too long now. If you continue like this, you would look back in the future and see how you wasted it. You have money, your family has too. You are surrounded by people who do and loves you too. It’s high time you start making changes to yourself so you live a life that you will never regret. If you decide to lose the pregnancy, you’ll lose him too. Stop denying yourself the joy and happiness you deserve, Rylee, stop destroying yourself with your own hands. You are not alone, you should know that. Phineas would be here, I would be here and so will everyone else that loves you. You just need to decide what is better and more important to you, choose it and work towards achieving it, just like I did.” Wow, spending time with my therapist have made me a motivational speaker. I should see her more often.

“What if Phineas’ parents never accept me?”

“Make then accept you,” I smirked, “and they don’t really have a choice. It’s either you or no one else. Now, get some sleep, do you want me or Rominic to stay with you?” She shyly pointed at Rominic. Of course she would pick him, they are inseparable when she’s sad or when either of them are sick. I had done my part, now it was time for Rominic to say his without me being there. I kissed her forehead, wished both of them goodnight and went to the boys’ room. I tiredly slip into Zachary’s bed, huffing out a breath of exhaustion.

“Mom? Mom? What’s going on?” It was dark, very dark, so I couldn’t exactly see his face or what he was doing. “Did you and dad fight or…”

“No, something came up with your aunt, she cried so your father stayed with her. I don’t want to sleep alone so here I am.”

“Will she be okay?”

“Hopefully.”

“Can you tell me what it’s all about?”

“Tomorrow.” I murmured drowsily. I felt him move into my chest and place his hand on my hip. Sighing softly, I finally got the sleep I deserve.

~~~

Well, the next day was weird. It started with me waking up to see Serenity in my arms instead of Zach and Sera sleeping behind her. Then the muffled scream. Turns out Sera came to wake Zach up but saw us, decided to be mischievous and then involved Serene. They kidnapped Zach, tied his mouth, hands and feet with ducktape and then locked him in the closet. Zyaire would have stopped them but he was paying Zach back for messing with his high score and Zayne was still a log of wood on his bed. And even if he’s not, he wouldn’t be able to help.

I can’t believe I didn’t wake up.

After that, I scolded them and made them apologize to their brother before going to take a bath. When I returned, Sera was tied on a table, a intentionally made dirty table with a wet stinky rag tied around her forehead. Zach did it. He knew dirt was the only way to break his sister and he succeeded because she was crying profusely with no means of screaming as her mouth was tied. Serenity’s punishment was a kiss and a warning never to release Sera because Zach can’t really hurt his angel. After scolding them again, I went downstairs to see Kara sobbing and stuffing her face with ice cream while Serenity and Jewels emotionally “supported” her by stuffing their faces too. Kara had an argument with Jamie and he made a angry comment about marrying a second wife.

So, I had to talk to her and at the end, she declared she was going back home to get her man. She did a dramatic exit and ran to pack her bags. While still trying to absorb that, breakfast was ready. Rominic and Rylee didn’t come down for breakfast, Chef Russo kept annoying me with his indirect speech on how he missed his daughter being around or this cool thing about her or that. Then I did the chores after texting the guys to meet up later today and of course, how I won the bet. At noon time, that was when the ultimate weird happened.

Kara was set to leave and was hugging the kids bye when Rominic came out smiling like a baby boy and bouncing like one. When I asked what his excitement was, he pointed at someone hiding behind the front door. After much encouragement (which involves Kara threatening to rip her tits off) she stepped out. We literally froze for five minutes. I mean, it’s not something I have ever seen since I knew Rominic and from what I heard, they hadn’t seen it either since she was twelve.

Rylee wore a dress. She removed her black hair dye with blood splatter, revealing her original creamy blonde hair. No eyebrows piercings, no tongue or nose, just a single lip piercing on her –for once– red lipstick. No dark makeup, just light and colorful. She wasn’t dressed in black, chains or gold, she was wearing an actual dress. She wore a pale cornflower blue body con dress with sweetheart and illusion neckline. The sweetheart was bejeweled with white pearls, they was some kind of extra flare arm bands separate from the hand of the dress. The bottom of the dress had a mini gathered flare and a gold belt. The dress hugged her body so comfortably tight, bringing out all the curves I never knew she had. I always knew she was identical with Nic, but I never knew they were this identical. It was like Rominic wore a dress and make-up.

She shyly held a cream purse, one that matched the dropping earrings. It was a simple dress but beautiful and so different on her. Her hair was up in a messy chignon bun, a small gold cuff on her wrist, one matching the band tying her hair up. Rylee played with her foot while blushing with head down. Kara and I were trying to pick up our senses.

“That’s my twin,” Nic said with a proud grin, throwing his hand over his mother’s shoulder. Kara looked at him and then me and back to him with mouth wide open.

“W…wh…what happened to her! Rominic, what have you done!”

“I didn’t do anything, mom, Rylee decided to…”

“No,” she held out her hands, “don’t tell me,” Kara brought out her phone and quickly took a shot. She tapped on her phone for a couple of seconds while I caught my senses and pushed it back into my head. I walked over to Rylee with my hands over my mouth.

“Rylee, is this you?” She nodded, face still red. “You decided to change?” She nodded again. “Is Phineas picking you up?” She shyly nodded again. First, her dressing, second, her makeup and hair, and now, her shyness. I quietly brought out my phone, took a picture too and sent it to Tyra.

“Tyra, can you see what I’m seeing? That is your cousin, Rylee, going on a date with Phineas. Tell me I’m not seeing a goddess, tell me I’m dreaming!”

“Jamie! The world is going to end, Rylee wore a dress!” I heard Kara scream. If Rylee was shy before, it got worse. Tyra replied with a call and we screamed and cheered Rylee on. She needed it. To give her more support, I sent the picture to our group chat. The girls replied with shock, shock and more shock. Trust Anna to go all pussy goddess hot on Rylee. By the time we were done, Rylee was feeling more confident. Then the kids commented with squeals (leave Zach out of it) and then Kara cried about how amazing she is for giving birth to two hot stuff. And then Phineas came.

Phineas stood paralyzed, his jaw sagged to the lowest of point and eyes as wide as a saucer. We took pictures and videos of the drama to send to Jamie and the girls. Done with it, Rominic rolled his eyes and slap Phineas back to his default setting. “Rylee, is that you?”

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes around nervously, “do I look bad?”

“If badly gorgeous is a good word, then yes… No, that’s not what I mean. I mean to say you look amazing, fabulous… Oh my God! Am I looking at the same Rylee?” Phineas went on to ramble about how good she looked and blah blah. Let’s just say that’s how that ended.

~~~

The music boomed throughout the compound and across the lane, drunk, tipsy and sober humans moving here and there doing what they know how to do best. I swayed my hips rhythmically to the music, smiling as I stared at Maverick and Link forcing Ferris into the bikini. We were at a club, for him to fulfil his punishment for making a stupid bet. The guys were more than happy to help me drag him to a club instead of a bar. I decided to have mercy on him but he was still acting stubborn.

“Ferris, wear the damn bra, you look hot!” Gael squealed enthusiastically. Elias was leaning on a wall, nonchalantly smoking with head tilt backward. He had a smile on his face, a lazy smile. I don’t really know what’s going on in his head, but I suppose something good for him to be smiling like that. Cameron was still making sure his camera was good and ready to take the video and Waylon was trying to decide between the red and pink lipstick in his hand. He insisted on wearing him makeup which we all agreed.

“That’s easy for you to say, I’m about to walk to the middle of a crowded and freaking popular club where every weird thing is videotaped and the video goes viral! If I go up stage, I would never be able to live the shame out. Someone is going to get it on video and post it online. Before you know it, they would identify me as Anna’s husband and what then? I can’t! You can’t do this to me, Laverne! We made that bet years ago when I was young and…” Link shoved the spare bra into his mouth, causing us to laugh. We were in the men’s room, door locked so no one would enter and see. I didn’t have to do it, but we all needed a little fun in our lives.

“Waylon, the lipstick…”

“You can’t be serious!” We laughed at his distress. Thirty minutes of dressing up later, I gave him a mask and pushed him outside. We stayed at a far away distant as he tremulously walked back into the club. People stopped to look at him in confusion and puzzlement. We stayed at the exit door so we could abandon him in case someone calls 911 to report a insane person.

Ferris climbed onto the center stage for the star strippers. Elias had gone to talk to the DJ to change the song. He didn’t have to dance to the pole, just twerk and look sexy.

“(I want a slim, fine woman with some twerk with her)
Throw that, twerk it
(I want a slim, fine woman with some twerk with her)
Shake that, bounce that
(I want a slim, fine woman with some twerk with her)
Cardi (Ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy)
(I want a slim, fine woman with some twerk with her)…” The music boomed through the speaker. I covered my hand with my mouth, already laughing at the misery I know he would wear on his face. Ferris is a great twerker, he taught me how to. But doing it in a bikini and in a public place, was not part of his ever happening list. He bent over and began twerking, making the guys and I break into uncontrollable laughter. Elias ran up to us, I immediately gave him a high five.

“Do it, baby, stick it, baby
Move it, baby, lick it, baby (Do it)
“Suck up on that clit until that pussy got a hickey,
baby (Bounce)
Watch big, coulda bought a Range Rover (Range Rover)
Chain little, but I spent some change on it (Change on it)
Nigga mad, I’ma put the gang on him (Gang on it)
They’ll die ’bout me, they’ll bang on him (Facts)
And that ass poke out, lil frame on him (Ow)
Pussy so good he got my name on him (Miami)
Itty-bitty-pretty, I’m the realest in the city
Only fuckin’ with the plug, got a nigga worth a billi’
Showin’ love, only talk about bands when he hit me
Trust him, he ain’t picky, and we never doin’ quickies…” Everyone had stiffen and was watching him, their lips parted. If he was twerking with clothes on, it would have be normal. But a bikini in a club, not. I could see his ass and balls jiggling wildly. His balls had escaped the bikini, somehow. That was the main joke.

I couldn’t stand anymore, I fell my weight on Cameron who had his on Maverick as he laughed to tearful point. Then ferris decided to dance with the pole which he surprisingly was good at. We all momentarily watched him in shock before we started laughing again. His balls were freaking dancing along with him.

“(Tw-twerk-twerk-twerk-twerk-twerk with her)
Twerk
(Turn the lights off!)

Yeah, I see you show that, but is you gon’ throw that?
If you don’t let me hold that, you know where the door at (Bye)
Lil flexin’ ass nigga, what is that shit? (Fuck is that?)
Must have me confused for a rat bitch (Hol’ up)
Too rude for a soft nigga, need a boss nigga
Floss nigga who don’t give a fuck what it cost, nigga (Boss)
I could buy my own, but I’d rather spend yours, nigga
Tell th…” The music and the fabulous show went on until the music ended. By that time, we were completely spent. My chest was hurting from laughing too much and it wasn’t even the best part. Elias took my wrist and walked out hurriedly, the guys following and laughing behind.

“Why are we leaving?”

“You’ll see,” we got to the cars we brought along. I was driving with Elias, Maverick and Ferris while the other drove in Link’s. Elias pushed me in, put on my seatbelt and then got into the driver’s seat. He started the car and lifted his right hand.

5, 4, 3, 2…

I was about to ask what he was silently counting for when Ferris ran towards up screaming “start the car!” He kicked off his heels and continued running, some men behind him. His balls still out of his panties. He dived into the car and Elias drove off before he even sat up properly or shut the door. Maverick reached over to his side, pulled him in completely so his legs wouldn’t be swaying outside the car, and then shut the door. Ferris was panting heavily, like he just did a life threatening marathon.

“What was that about?” I asked in confusion. “They wanted to kick you out?”

“Worse, those guys were gay,” the color on his face became even more paler, “they tried to rape me,” a laughing smile spread across my lips while his got even more frightened. “All I did was twerk,” he cried.

“Yeah, twerk this,” Maverick laughed and grabbed Ferris’ balls. “Nice balls, man, could have been bigger though.” Ferris face paled completely as his eyes widened with horror.

“You mean the whole time, my m…m…”

“One,” Elias breathe out his last count. On cue, we all burst into laughter, except Elias who was smiling. Link’s car was connected to ours so we could hear what they were saying and what we were as well. I sank into the chair, my stomach hurting from laughing too much but it was worth it. I still didn’t stop laughing, even after we parked so Ferris could throw up or after he passed out when Anna called after we sent her the video. The video went viral. They might not know who the “sexy hot specimen” is because of the mask, but we did. And again, it was fun.

Totally worth it.

~~~

“Love is a drug that paralyze it victims and make them an easy prey. Those who love are meant to be conquered because they are weak. Use love to exploit the weak, use it to get what you want from men and you will never be below them.” Her words destroyed me, her words took everything away from me because I listened. She was my mother, my role model. She had it all, money, power and men worshiping her feet. I wanted to be like her, I needed to be like her. I was becoming like her and so close to getting my own everything, but I lost it all.

Lavender Jamila Amherst, the bone in my throat that I’ve hated even after her death, the needle in my ass and the thorn in my flesh. For so many years I’d hated and wished I could kill her myself, more than I did the first time. But I couldn’t, she was dead, or so I thought.

There she was in the picture, smiling and laughing with head thrown back, head on the hand of one of her nasty friend, Anna. A picture of them in a car, two other behind them making funny faces. She looked better, she looked richer than I was, she looked what I should have been. She was back, ready to take back what is mine while I rot away. But no, it would never happen. I will never let them both enjoy happiness when they wrecked mine to the ground. I’ll find a way to get him back, or make sure she remains dead for good, this time.