Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M - Season 6 Episode 5

I pick up the last box and glance around my room. This room has been my sanctuary for the last two years.

It had been my room when I was still a small girl, but over the years I changed it as I grew to become a woman. The décor, the paint and the furniture. I changed everything to fit the woman I became.

This is the room I cried in when I first leamed that Rowan had slept with Ava… Years later, in this same room, I licked my wounds after realizing all the pain and hurt I caused.

It became my source of comfort. The one place I could run and hide. The one place I could break down with no one to witness me unravel. If the walls could talk, they’d say just how much they witnessed. The secrets I hid. The terrifying thoughts of ending it all.

Now though, I was leaving it behind. I know that I’ll still be sleeping here on the occasions I spend the night at home, but for some reason it felt like I was saying goodbye to it. There was a kind of finality. As if finally, I was letting go of the memories from the last two years. It felt like I was ending a chapter.

“Are you ready?” Travis’s voice breaks through my thoughts.

My eyes shift briefly to him before going back to my room. Maybe when I am more emotionally stable, I’ll find time and come to change the décor again. This way I can get rid of the memories that were etched on the walls. You know, give the room a brand-new start because we both need it.

“Yes,” I finally whisper.

Like I said, it feels weird. This is my home. This will always be my room no matter what… but it feels like I am saying goodbye to it.

I turn my back on it. Travis takes the box from me and walks out. I don’t look behind me again, instead I follow him. We walk in silence until we get downstairs.

“My baby,” Mom cries, tears playing on the edge of her eyes. It’s as if they stubbornly refused to fall down. “Mom,” I walk to her and pull her into a hug. “Why are you so emotional?”

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“It feels like you are leaving home for college all over again. I remember when we first had to let you go. Your dad cried more than I did.”

My heart aches at the thought of my father. It’s been two years since he died. I still think of him. I still love him. That will never change.

“I miss him,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion.

Mom grabs my hand and squeezes it. “We all do, but I am sure he’s watching over us.”

I nod my head and squeeze her hand.

“Are you ready for this?” Travis comes to stand next to me, his eyes searching mine.

I laugh nervously as I twiddle my thumb. “Not by a long shot, but I have to do this. I have to make an effort for Gunner’s sake.”

“You are right.”

Unlike me, Gunner accepted his grandmother and uncle wholeheartedly. I don’t mind it though. A bit jealous, but I don’t mind it. I understand. They didn’t hurt him like I did.

“Okay kids,” my mom beams with excitement. “It’s time to go.”

She walks towards the door with Travis and I following behind her. This is a huge step for me. I am nervous and excited at the same time.

We get inside Travis’s Range with me in the passenger seat and mom in the back. Soon we are cruising in the streets heading to what will be my new home.

“It’s really nice what Ava did for you,” Travis begins mid-journey. “I wish she could give me a chance too.” There is longing in his voice. I know how he feels. Our situations are different but similar at the same time. We’ve both done hurtful things to people we thought we didn’t care about. By the time it hit us, it was already too late.

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We haven’t talked much about it because I’ve been lost in my own guilt and misery, but I know Travis longs to have a relationship with Ava. He once told me that it kills him to know that Ava forgave Rowan and the entire Wood family, but she hasn’t forgiven him and won’t let him be a part of her life. She only allows him access to Noah through Rowan, but that’s it. Same with Mom.

“Don’t worry about it,” I try to console him, feeling his deep hurt and regret. “She came to visit us a couple of weeks ago. She even talked with mom. That’s progress. Give her time. She’ll come around when she’s ready.”

“But it’s been two years. If she hasn’t forgiven me yet, I doubt she’ll ever will.” His voice catches as if it’s clogged with emotion.

His sadness pulls the strings of my heart. I want to ease his pain. I want to help him, but I know I can’t. All I can do is make him understand.

“You know, I’ve talked a lot with Mia. One thing she told me was not to expect forgiveness instantly. Some take years before they are ready to forgive. She told me if I really cared for Gunner and Calvin, then I should be patient with them. Pushing and trying to have my way will only make things worse and slow down their healing process. Do you care for Ava?”

I already knew the answer, but I had to ask anyway.

His gives me a brief look before his eyes move back on the road. His brows were furrowed as if he couldn’t believe I’d ask such an obvious question.

‘Yes.’

“Then you have to be patient with her. Don’t try to push things when she’s not ready. She’ll probably end up resenting you more.”

His hands tighten on the steering wheel, but he doesn’t say anything else.

“Emma is right, Travis,” mom adds. “We were the ones in the wrong with how we treated her. We can’t expect her to play to our tune. We have to move at her pace. For once, let’s think about what she needs and not about what we want. We’ve been selfish for too long.”

I turn in my seat and look at my mother, giving her a smile. She grins back.

I am so glad that she finally understood things. Just like Travis, she used to complain about Ava refusing to forgive them even though they apologized countless times. It is refreshing to see her in this new light.

Travis looks at mom in the rearview mirror. He takes a deep breath and lets it out before nodding. “Okay, I’ll be patient.”

Mom gives him a satisfied smile before answering an incoming call from her phone. My heart feels at peace.

Even as I look at them with a smile on my face, I can’t help but think that maybe there is hope for this family after all.