Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M - Season 5 Episode 20

Calvin.

“What the fuck are you doing at my house, Emma” I say through gritted teeth.

Gunner and I were busy repainting his room, before the doorbell rang. The last thing I wanted was for him to hear me shouting and come down only to see this bitch.

I glare at her as I feel my anger rise within me. My fists are clenched, and my jaw is clamped tightly in an effort to stop me from blowing up.

“I-I” she doesn’t finish the sentence, and it just pisses me off even more.

Fuck this! I get out of the house and close the door behind me. I needed to get rid of her.

“I asked you a fucking question, Emma!” I snap, gripping the door handle like a vise, just to center myself.

After all the shit she’s put me and Gunner through, she now has the audacity to show up on my doorstep?

The pain and heartache of over almost a decade. Did she really think that I would easily forget it? That I’d put it behind me and pretend like she didn’t reap my heart out over and over again. Pretend that she didn’t put my soul through a fucking mincer and shredded me to pieces?

It fucking hurts. It still fucking hurts even now. The pain is constantly there. The scars aren’t fucking healed and I doubt they’ll ever will.

“Please, I just want to see him. I want to see Gunner?” she pleads, tears filling her eyes, but seeing them does nothing.

I feel nothing as I stare at her ashen and sad face. I feel nothing at seeing the pain and guilt in her eyes. She doesn’t try to hide her emotions but they still don’t move me. I swore to myself that I’d never allow myself to be used and manipulated by her.

“Really? I thought you didn’t want him” I scoff, folding my arms across my chest. “Weren’t you the one that was insistent on not having anything to do with him years ago, why the change of heart?”

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I sneer when her lips start trembling and her face twists as if she was in physical pain.

“He’s my son”

“Is that right?” I ask. “You are nothing but an egg donor. It’s unfortunate that Gunner had to have you as a mother to be honest. If you want to see the true meaning of being a mom, then look at Ava. She’s a fucking mother, and you’re nothing but an immature spoiled brat that thinks people are toys she can play with.”

Another onslaught of pain flashes in her eyes and she stumbles back as if I’ve hit her.

“Ava is twice the woman and mother you’ll ever be. With all your beauty and brains, what did it get you? Always feeling like you’re better than her, but in real sense you aren’t even fucking close. You were a nasty bitch to her and look at her now. She has the man you’ve always wanted, a son and daughter while you have nothing.”

My words were aimed at eviscerating her. They were meant to destroy her and bring her to her knees. She’s always hated Ava. Always hated being compared to her, so I knew this would destroy her. Call me cruel, but seeing her in pain eases something inside me. After the shit she put me through, she deserves this and more.

Despite the pain I wanted to inflict, I couldn’t hide my self-loathing. She isn’t wholly to blame. I take some of the blame because I allowed her to use for so long.

I wanted her. I loved her. She was

my soul, yet she never felt anything for me. I stayed with her and tolerated her treatment because I’d hoped that one day she’d come to love me. That she’d see just how good we were together and that she didn’t need Rowan’s love. Not when she had my heart in her fucking hand.

That day never came though. Over and over again she proved just how selfish and self-centered she was. She cared about nobody but herself and that stupid love she held on to for a man that cheated on her with her sister.

When my eyes opened and I had

enough, my love turned sour. I hated her. Loathed her with everything that I am. At Right though. When my son is asleep and I’m lying alone in my huge bed, I allow myself to hate

myself too, because I gave her the power to treat me as she did.

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“Please, Calvin” he begging pulls me back to her.

She’s changed. She’s lost weight and some color. She is nothing like the woman I remembered. Her light was gone, and she looked like a shadow of her former self.

“Please what, Emma?” I push her hand away when she tries to touch me. “You think you can regain what you lost now that the man you’ve held on to for so long doesn’t want you? You have to be fucking insane to think I’ll let you use my son fucking band-aid for your bleeding heart!”

“I just want to make amends, please let me.”

“Get lost, Emma. It’s too late for your fucking apologies” I snarl.

I was about to turn around when the door opens and Gunner pops his head out.

“Dad-” his words stop when he sees the woman that gave birth to him.

“Gunner” Emma calls in a whispered voice. “I came to see you”

I frown and clench my hands at her directness. Why was she so pushy? Where was this determination years ago when it mattered?

Gunner’s eyes quickly flash over her before landing on me. Despite everything, I love my son.

It pains me to have to ask him, but if he wants Emma to be in his life, then I can’t stop him.

“Do you want to see her?” I gently ask, trying to mask my hatred and anger at Emma.

His blue eyes, so similar to his mother’s glance over her, again. They shut down, and an indifferent look takes over his features.

“No” he all but snarls the words.

That’s all I needed to hear.

With a nod, and a bit of pride, I step away from Emma, get inside with my son and slam the fucking door in her face.