Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M - Season 4 Episode 54

“Sarah…” | go to say, but she cuts me off.

“We were wrong, Ava. We were wrong, and | believe that it’s because everyone held on to what could have been between Rowan and Emma that made it hard for them to move on. Looking back, | see it as clear as day. You were all still kids. If we had moved on, they would have followed suit and moved on too. We held on tightly to the past, and so they did, which caused Rowan to hurt you as badly as he did,” she pauses, then continues.

“I’m not justifying what he did, but | also want to understand that his actions were probably a direct result of how we behaved as parents.”

| understood her, but that doesn’t explain his actions later on. Yes, we married young, but we grew up. His actions and cruel acts continued for nine years. That’s what | can’t move on from.

“| know that I’m asking you a lot, but please give him a chance. | know my son, and I know once he loves, he loves deeply. He’ll spend the rest of his life loving you and treating you like you deserve if you give him a chance. He’ll bleed on the floor just to rectify the mistakes he’s made and fix what he’s broken. | promise you, Ava, if you give him a chance, he’ll work his butt off to be deserving of the chance you gave him and to be the man you deserve. | promise you won’t regret it.”

| remain quiet. Everything I’ve ever wanted is there for the taking. All | have to do is reach out and grab it, yet | am scared to do that.

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“Do you love Rowan, Ava?” she asks. “Because that’s the most important thing right now.”

“Yes. | shouldn’t after everything he’s done, yet | can’t stop my heart from wanting him. | should let go of the past, yet I can’t seem to.”

She is silent and then smiles at me warmly. “I know why you’re having a hard time… You’re scared” | turn to her sharply.

“You’re scared of him hurting you again. You’re scared that giving him a chance will lead to more heartbreak. You’re afraid of being vulnerable because you’ve been hurt so many times. You’re simply scared to love him again”

At first, | wanted to refuse, but the more she talked, the more her words resonated with me. She was right. What was holding me back wasn’t the past and

1/3 chance, I’ll end up getting hurt.

“Look, | can’t promise that he won’t do something to hurt you. Men can be clueless and stupid. But | can assure you that he won’t ever do anything to intentionally hurt you. | believe he learned his lesson when he almost lost, first to another man and then to death. At this point, he’d rather rip out his heart inan hurt or cause you pain. Love is about taking risks in the unknown. Will you let fear hold you back from grabbing your happiness?”©

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| mull it over. Everything she said was the damn truth. Could | really let him go? And Sarah was right again: Will | let the fear of getting hurt stop me from being happy? Rowan has already shown his remorse and that he’d move mountains for; he even sent Emma to prison for fucks sake. What more confirmation do | need that he’s truly moved on from her?

But above all of that, he’s proven his love for me. Sure, he can be an asshole, but that doesn’t stop my love for him.

“| see you’ve reached a decision,” she smiles wide at me as if sensing my choice. Or maybe it’s the goofy smile | know I’m wearing.

| take my phone and shoot Rowan a quick text. [Can we meet? I’m at home | want us to talk.] His response is immediate. | mean, not even a minute after | sent mine.

[Sure. I’ll be there in forty-five minutes.]

I look at Iris and smile.

“| can take her if you want; I’ll even pick Noah up from school so that both you and Rowan can have enough time to talk.” “Thank you, Sarah. If you don’t mind”

“| don’t,” she says, taking a sleeping Iris. “She’s an angel and we all adore her so much.”

| nod and rush upstairs to pack a bag for her. | would get her once Rowan and | were done talking, but | wanted her to have enough diaper changes, clothes, and

some toys. When they leave, I rush to clean myself up. | haven’t put much effort lately, but today | wanted to look good. | was just finishing when | heard a door open and close. | rushed downstairs, thinking it was Rowan, but | was dead wrong.

“Hello, bitch. Long time, no see,” Christine sneered, her contempt. All conte