CHANCE TO LIVE MY LIFE AGAIN - Season 2 Episode 2

Byungsoo couldn’t tell if he was drinking hot chocolate through his mouth or his nose, his brain went into overdrive as he looked at Maru . Some kid he met for the first time in his life was buying him hot chocolate for no reason . In the past, he would’ve drank it happily with no worries at all, but right now he was trying to figure out why he was being given this drink . He didn’t like how far he was thinking into this, but that didn’t change the fact that this was what he was thinking right now .

“I ended up hearing your phone call a moment ago . ”

“ . . . . . . ”

Embarrassment washed over him immediately, to think that the fact that he was a horrible son got exposed in school… .

“Do the others bully you a lot?”

“ . . . N-no . They don’t . ”

Byungsoo felt a chill run down his neck . Maybe the delinquents sent this guy to test him? Changhu could easily do that to him, he closed his lips tightly and smiled . At the same time, Byungsoo curled up his toes from the sheer amount of shame he felt .

“Saying yes is always difficult . ”

“W-what are you talking about? They’re all nice people . You’re not even from my class . You don’t know what my class is like . They’re all… Good people . ”

He started saying all sorts of stuff to cover for himself . The only thing he got better at after entering high school, it looked like, was lying . Much unlike his grades, unfortunately . His mind is an utter mess, Byungsoo continued speaking good things about his friends with as much passion as he could gather . Funny thing was, talking like this was actually starting to reduce the amount of anger he felt at them . That’s right, they were all nice people from the start . I’m the weird one . Changhu’s the same . He wouldn’t be like this if I did a bit better .

After repeating the same words over and over again, Byungsoo stood up from his seat, saying he would leave . So who cared if this was Changhu’s test? He didn’t do anything wrong, he should be able to go home safely .

“You might actually start thinking that for real if you keep brainwashing yourself like that . ”

Byungsoo turned to look at Maru, who was staring directly at him .

“Brainwash? I really . . . ”

“There’s no better method of brainwashing than repeating lies to yourself . ”

“I never lied . ”

“Is that so?”

Maru suddenly walked over and put a hand over Byungsoo’s shoulder . What was this guy thinking?

“Changhu’s probably still at the school entrance . ”

“W-what?”

“You said you guys are friends, right? Let’s go . ”

“No!”

“Why? I thought you were friends?”

“Y-yeah, but we aren’t that good friends . ”

“Friends are friends, though . Come on, let’s go talk with him . ”

Byungsoo gritted his teeth and pushed Maru away . He realized he made a mistake, but this was better than getting dragged away to Changhu . Byungsoo apologized immediately .

“Sorry, I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“I see what you’re thinking . You think I’m with Changhu, don’t you? I’m not with him . I’m actually here with you because I want to silence him before he goes wild . ”

What in the world was this kid talking about? He’s here to silence Changhu? Byungsoo couldn’t understand what Maru meant by that . What could a victim like him even do?

“Don’t you imagine it often? Fighting back against the guys that bullied you?”

“ . . . . . ”

“Coming to school isn’t very fun anymore, is it? You just want to go home, staying in school just makes you feel more painful . You just end up expressing your anger at your poor parents . ”

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Byungsoo’s stomach turned, it felt like he was close to throwing up . He could feel anger and resentment boil up inside of him . How dare this kid act like he knows everything?

“You must be treated like an idiot at school . You don’t even have friends to go back home with . You don’t even know how much money they took from you at this point, do you? Since calculating just got too painful at some point . ”

“ . . . . . . . ”

“You must think of the past a lot . I used to have so many friends in middle school . Ah, were you perhaps bullied in middle school, too? Did you ever have a single friend in your life? Is it that bad?”

“N-no, it’s not . . . ”

“You had friends in middle school?”

“Yeah . ”

“Pft . ”

Byungsoo gritted his teeth hard enough to hear it creak, the other boy’s laughter was making his head start to swim . How dare this kid…

“You’re lying . You were probably bullied your whole life . You just look the part . You were bullied in elementary school, too, weren’t you? You were probably that kid who would get awkward whenever the teacher singled you out . Be honest with me . You were alone for all of your life, weren’t you?”

“I wasn’t . ”

“Wasn’t? There you go, lying again . ” “I really wasn’t . Even I, back in middle school . . . ”

“Even I? Eh? That’s an odd choice of words . So you’re being bullied now? You just said you had a lot of friends though . So you were lying, after all?”

Byungsoo became dizzier the more he heard Maru speak . Why was this kid being like this? What did he do wrong? He really did have a normal life in middle school . He played soccer, he went to PC bangs, and he went out to play with his friends on the weekend . He wasn’t lying . In fact, his friends just called him not long ago . He wasn’t making any of this up . For the first time, Byungsoo raised his head, and whispered bitterly .

“What do you know?”

He ended up spitting those words out in bitter anger . Maru’s face turned into an angry frown, which woke Byungsoo up immediately .

“I… That wasn’t what I meant, I was thinking of something else . I’m sorry, I’m not lying . ”

“Why do you get so defensive?”

“ . . . . . . ”

“Don’t you have something else you want to say?”

“That’s . . . ”

Maru’s frown disappeared off his face, Byungsoo sighed in relief . Thank goodness, it didn’t look like he would get hit .

“The fact that you’re lying tells me you feel pain from the truth . Saying the truth is difficult, isn’t it? Neither of us has that kind of bravery, after all . But there comes a time where we have to gather up our courage and say the truth . Don’t you feel like you’ve been driven to the edge of a cliff sometimes?”

Even in the loud classroom, there was no one who greeted Byungsoo . Byungsoo also thought it was normal to not be talked to . As a matter of fact, he got scared when someone talked to him . What were they going to make him do now? What did they want from him this time? The classroom made Byungsoo feel like he was choking . Whenever he was inside, he counted each second, each minute, waiting for the hours to pass .

‘I guess I’m at the edge . ’

Recently, the stories of students who committed suicide didn’t sound like such a foreign idea to him . Of course, he didn’t like the situation he was in . Who would? He wanted to struggle, and try to make a change in his life but lacked the courage . His voice always crawled somewhere deep in his body, sitting there until it eventually transformed into anger and hatred . Anger that he expelled to his mother . He knew this was wrong, but he didn’t know how he would change anything .

“I know why you didn’t say you dislike your situation . No, why you couldn’t say it . After all, if you could say whatever you wanted from the very start, you wouldn’t have a single worry in the world . ”

“ . . . What do you want from me?”

Byungsoo was confused . He would honestly feel better if someone like Changhu was beating him right now . In his head, he could tell where Maru was trying to go . But he didn’t have the courage to say that with his mouth .

“I can’t do anything . I’m a coward . I’m just… dumb . No matter what the other kids say to me, I can’t say anything back . Even when they take money from me, I can only smile . If I don’t, I’m just going to get hit, so how am I supposed to fight back?”

He felt the strength sap from his shoulders . He just said whatever came to his head and he felt embarrassed . He felt pathetic for saying something like this . Maru probably thought of him as a bug at this point .

“Done . ”

A happy voice . Maru was smiling .

“What’s done?”

“That’s good enough . That’s how you take your first step . And once you take that first step, everything else just becomes that much easier . ”

“What did I do?”

“Talk . Talk honestly . You can only lie if you still have a place to run to . If you really get pushed to the edge, that’s when you start doing drastic things . Most people just end up giving up on themselves since that’s the easier option . ”

“ . . . What are you trying to say to me?”

“Don’t you feel alone at the edge of that cliff?”

* * *

Byungsoo always felt nervous when he came to the back of the school, he didn’t have any good memories here . As a matter of fact, this was where all of his bad memories began . At the beginning of the school year, he got dragged here by the school delinquent and ended up parted ways with his 30,000 won .

“Why are we here?”

“We need to prepare if we want to start something . ”

Maru stepped closer .

“Put some strength in your stomach . ”

“What?”

“Did you?”

“Y-yeah . ”

Immediately, a loud ‘pow’ hit Byungsoo’s ear . Byungsoo dropped down with a frown . He couldn’t breathe for a second .

“How is it?”

“Kah, kuh . W-why are you being like this, all of the sudden?”

Byungsoo stood back up with a hand on the wall, his body was trembling in fear . Did he get tricked? Thankfully, Maru didn’t hit him again .

“It doesn’t hurt enough for you to die, does it?”

“That’s obv . . . ”

“Now, hit me . ”

“W-what? Why would I?!”

“Just do it . Ball up your fist real hard . If you keep it too loose, you might hurt your hand . ”

Maru taught him how to hold a fist, and pointed at his stomach . But what kind of a sane person would go around hitting other people?

“I’m not interested in fighting them, I don’t want to . If you’re trying to teach me how to fight, it’s pointless . ”

“Who told you to fight? I just want you to know what it’s like to hit someone, and what it’s like to be hit by someone . ”

“Y-you really want me to hit you? That’s dangerous . ”

Maru shrugged before pointing at his stomach one more time . In the end, Byungsoo punched with a deep frown . A much weaker ‘pow’ sounded, and Maru continued talking with a dull expression .

“You’re afraid of getting hit, right?”

Byungsoo nodded, he was afraid of getting hit, that’s why he was always subservient to others .

“You’re afraid of getting hit because you don’t have the courage to hit back . ”

“Courage to hit back?”

“Right . You don’t have the courage to fight back, so you become afraid of getting hit . ”

“That’s inevitable, isn’t it? I can’t fight . ”

“I’m not telling you to fight . Fighting is pointless . ”

“Then?”

“You need to learn to be patient, knowing you can hit back . ”

“Stay patient?”

“The other kids aren’t going to stop hitting you . They aren’t going to flinch even if you try to fight back . As a matter of fact, trying to fight back is only going to make them happier . ”

“ . . . Nothing’s going to change if I just keep getting hit . ”

“Of course not . But once you have the confidence to fight back, that’s when your voice can finally be heard . Since you know you’ll get hit anyway . ”

“I can speak back to them?”

Maru nodded .

“But that’s not going to do anything to them,” Byungsoo said .

“No, there comes a point where your words carry greater power . ”

Right then, Maru took out a little plastic stick from his pocket . When Maru fiddled with one of its buttons, a sound started playing from it .

“Our voice . ”

A pretty clear voice came from the device . There were other noises mixed in there, but the conversation from a moment ago was recorded perfectly .

“Are you . . . ”

“This is the reason why I need your help, but you do need some courage to be able to speak while holding this in front of them . Courage isn’t anything special, though . It’s enough as long as you can be honest with yourself . All you have to do then is to say the words that pop up in your head . ”

Byungsoo gulped .

“Are you telling me to be honest in front of them? Then . . . ”

“You’d get beat up like never before . ”

“Hey!”

This guy was being unfair . He was asking Byungsoo to do the difficult things . If Byungsoo actually followed through, he would get in big trouble . If he told them to pay him back, to stop bullying him, and to stop hitting him, he’d get a punch thrown at his face in an instant . Maru put the recording device back in his pocket .

“You made your bed, so you might as well lay on it . ”

“You’re telling me to deal with it myself?”

“Right . You were honest with me, so I’ll be honest with you as well . I can’t help you with everything . That’s impossible . Some things can only be attained through sacrifice . ”

“You’re saying I have to get beat up for this?”

“Yeah . ”

“But it’s just voices . What will we do with that? And if they learn about what I did with it… I wouldn’t even be able to come to school anymore . ”

Horrible . If the delinquents found out he tried to fight back, they wouldn’t just stop with a normal beating . He was being told to do something that dangerous? Something that could make him get bullied even more?

“Evidence is the most important thing when it comes to school violence . It’s incredibly important to get evidence over how much money they took from you, how long you’ve been bullied, and how many people bullied you . ”

“But all that would just end with a scolding from the teacher! What about after that? Then I would . . . ”

“Who said I’d be going to the teacher?”

“Then what?”

“We wouldn’t be doing this if we wanted to finish this with the school . If we start something, we might as well see the end of it . ”

Maru spoke with an annoyed look, which somehow made a chill run down Byungsoo’s spine .

“There are a lot of kids that are being bullied by Changhu, actually . This will be pretty worth it if we go through with it . ”

“What are you thinking of doing…?”

“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

Maru took out the recorder again .

“I just want to show them that the law is much more powerful than a fist . ”

“Law? W-what, you want to sue them or something?”

Maru nodded calmly . Did this guy even know what he was talking about? Suing? That kind of stuff only happened in the world of adults!

“I’m going to explain to you what I can do, and what I can’t do . If you like what I tell you by the end of it, take the recorder . If you don’t, just give me a signature when I write a petition . I can always leave the act of recording to someone else . ”

Byungsoo looked at the device with trembling eyes . For some reason, he felt like he could trust Maru, despite meeting him for the first time today . It didn’t look like Maru was being lazy about this, either . A recording device… where did he get a hold of that?

“Will you really help me?”

“It’s a win-win situation, really . ”

Byungsoo thought to himself for a bit, it didn’t take him long to come to a decision . He already hit rock bottom a long time ago, he really didn’t have anywhere to go from here . If he was going to be bullied till the end anyway… He might as well go out with a bang . He was scared, but with this guy helping him, he had the support to pull it off . Byungsoo grabbed the recorder tightly from Maru’s hand .

“I’ll do it . ”

“Listen to what I have to say, first . Oh, don’t grab that so tightly, by the way . ”

“Why?”

“It’s not even mine, and it’s also eight hundred thousand won . ”

“E-eight hundred?”

Byungsoo let go with a flinch . Just what was this guy?

“Anyway, I’ll explain what we’re going to do . ”

Maru began talking with a serious look .