CHANCE TO LIVE MY LIFE AGAIN - Season 1 Episode 45

At that time, Maru was taking a look at himself through the bathroom mirror .

[But people who are taken by acting feel something completely different . They feel excitement . ]

Geunsoo’s words just reverberated all over his head .

Excitement, huh .

Maru put a hand over his chest . It was beating calmly . Just quietly doing its job dutifully .

“Excitement . ”

He thought back for a second . Did anything excite him back in high school?

“Basketball, video games… And occasionally good test scores . When I got my allowance?”

For sure, those things did get him pretty fired up in the moment . Winning a game of basketball for a single can of soda felt exhilarating, and getting a rare drop from a boss felt incredibly fulfilling .

Those were the things that used to excite him .

But now? There was nothing . It almost felt like he grew numb to any kind of emotion . Even today, the Maru of the mirror was making a calm, uninterested face . What kind of expressions did his previous high school self make?

It’d come to a point where he has to practice smiling every once in a while . Time really hasn’t done Maru any favors .

After staring for a few seconds more, Maru stepped away . It was time to go back . The dress rehearsal would start soon . As a matter of fact, Miso signalled the club to start as soon as Maru got back to his seat .

“The audience goes silent . The lights turn on, and the sounds of the television start playing . ”

Miso turned on the TV noises through the speaker . At the same time, Joonghyuk sat down on the sofa, and Minsung walked into the scene . The first act had begun .

* * *

As more time passed, the tension between the characters started rising faster and faster . Soon, the entire first year cast was in front of the corner store .

Daemyung stepped into the scene with his loosened tie . He walked next to the shop, and found a student smoking in the corner .

The group began talking .

Taejoon was the first to burst out, an incredible annoyance written all over his face . Dojin was next, rearing forward with a similar expression . It was clear to see they practiced quite a bit .

The flow of the conversation was natural . Plus, Daemyung really did seem like a carefree salaryman right then . He tried to stop Dojin from getting into a fight before exploding himself when the students targeted him .

Really, the boy looked like any other 50 year old you’d find on the street .

“He’s good,” Geunsoo whispered .

Maru couldn’t help but agree . Daemyung was surprisingly good at this .

‘But Geunseok is the one that’s really standing out . ’

If Daemyung’s acting was good enough to make you nod in satisfaction, Geunseok’s acting was good enough to make you forget about the play . The boy looked at the audience every once in a while as he spoke . He seemed to have studied that in his own time .

And then, his monologue began .

The auditorium became silent as the boy started speaking . His voice was small, but by no means was it quiet .

“Hmm . ”

Maru glanced at Geunsoo . The man was looking at his brother with a very satisfied smile . He seemed to have taken a liking to his brother’s acting .

But at the same time, there was also a bit of a nervous air about the man . Why?

* * *

The family on stage came together once more after ending the feud between them . The mother still finds her son dissatisfactory, but she can’t yell at the boy anymore . The father gives his permission, and the boy finishes the final act with a small monologue . The play comes to an end as the white noise of the TV becomes louder .

Then, the characters return on stage one by one in a curtain call . Geunseok comes out in the end, finishing their bows to the audience .

Clap clap clap .

Soojin and Maru clapped . It was clear as day that the club worked incredibly hard during the past two months . The actors looked at Miso with a very big sigh .

Miso hesitated a little before starting to clap herself .

“Make sure to do a little bit better than this on the actual thing . You should have a solid chance of getting an award if you do . ”

“Phew . ”

The first and second years sighed loudly . They looked at each other with a fulfilled expression .

“Good job . ”

“Good work . ”

“Thank you all for your hard work . ”

Maru put a hand over his chest as he watched the club members talk to each other . The temperature of the entire room seemed to go up for a second, but… his heart was beating the same as before .

“They’re good, weren’t they?” Geunsoo asked .

“Yes . They’re very different compared to their previous practices . ”

“First time seeing their dress rehearsal?”

“Yes . They look very fitting in their roles . ”

Geunsoo nodded .

“Yeah . That was a pretty good play . By the way, that suit over there… That’s something I brought over ten years ago . ”

Geunsoo smiled as he pointed at Daemyung’s suit .

“My uncle ran a shop in the neighborhood . I worked my ass off there so that I could get myself a suit . I don’t regret working that hard for it, since it’s obviously still being used very well . Those dress shoes were from me as well . ”

“You must’ve worked very hard for the club . ”

“I didn’t attend school for three years . I attended the club for three years . I got beat up by both my teachers and parents for messing up on my tests, but what could I do? I couldn’t help but care more about the club . ”

“Did you ever regret it?”

“Regret it? Well, I might’ve… I can’t remember . My brain doesn’t want to waste its space storing useless memories like those . ”

Geunsoo clicked his tongue lightly . It was pretty remarkable looking at someone so focused on a single passion .

“I was pretty insane . ”

Geunsoo grinned . He looked like he had seen straight through Maru .

“I couldn’t see anything else back in those days, since I was so taken by acting . Didn’t even care about college entrance exams either . ”

“You can do that?”

“Surprisingly easy if you try . ”

The man probably wasn’t called a lunatic for nothing .

Kids have quite a lot of worries to think about . Of course, these worries weren’t very light in comparison to what adults had to worry about .

A child whose toy just broke .

A student who forgot about homework .

A student who slept late for his college entrance exams .

A person who got into a big fight with his interviewer at a job interview .

A salaryman who got scolded by his boss .

A wife whose husband had been cheating on .

No one could possibly weigh or judge these people’s pains . Of course, some people who’ve actually experienced these things could say it was pointless trying to compare a broken toy with a dead person .

But to a child, that broken toy might be as valuable as an actual person . Their pain isn’t something an adult could understand . To a child, the toy might’ve been their entire world .

Giving up on studying to focus completely on acting for three years… It couldn’t have been an easy decision . Geunsoo must’ve had to muster up an incredible amount of courage to actually go through with it .

Geunsoo stated that he started acting to rebel against his father . That probably meant that he didn’t have a very good standing in the house .

To a student, school was half of their life, with family being the other . The only thing both of those groups ever wanted out of that student was to study . Geunsoo stepped on those expectations and jumped right into acting .

That… didn’t just take courage . It required the person to be a madman .

“That doesn’t sound easy at all . ”

“Of course not . You haven’t actually experienced it . ”

“You’re telling me that the decision’s actually easy to make when the time comes to make it?”

“No . I told you already . If the monster of acting has his eyes on you, you don’t have a choice anymore . ”

“So acting is something you have to be born with?”

“That’s what I think . Of course, you’ll have to voluntarily go into the room that the monster lives in first . But it’s up to the monster to actually welcome you in . Working hard is important, sure . But not all people are born equal . It’s like how I can never hope to become Michael Jordan no matter how hard I try . ”

“Talent… huh . ”

“You probably caught on a little already . ”

Geunsoo gestured towards the exit as he turned to Miso .

“I’ll go out for a bit . You guys aren’t practicing right away, right?”

“We’ll rest for a bit . ”

“Good, good . I’ll be borrowing this kid, then . ”

Geunsoo put his arm around Maru . Maru looked at Miso, who just nodded silently .

“Let’s go . ”

Geunsoo started dragging Maru towards the exit . But right before stepping out, he stopped himself with a small “oops” and walked towards Geunseok .

Geunseok seemed oddly nervous . Surprising .

“Good job,” Geunsoo said . He turned around after giving his little brother a few pats on the back .

It wasn’t very hard to notice the boy’s lips turn upwards in response .

“I heard the rooftop is open . Let’s go there . ”

“It looks like both you and the instructor like going to the rooftop for conversations, huh?”

“I mean, that place was our home base . The acting club’s home base . We practiced a ton there . We had the keys to the place, actually . ”

“Aha . ”

Geunsoo looked around for a second after opening the rooftop door .

“It’s the same as ever, huh,” he commented .

“It’s concrete, after all . ”

“Can’t you at least try to be emotional?”

Geunseok waved Maru over to the balance beam next to the railings . The thing had rotted to the point of almost collapsing .

“Daaang, this didn’t go anywhere either . We put this here to use as a chair . ”

“I see . ”

“Wow! Nothing changed at all here!”

“You didn’t come here for a while, I see . ”

“Me? It’s been a full decade . ”

“You didn’t come here after graduating at all?”

“Why would I? The only reason why I would ever come here is to see big bro Taesik, but I see that dude outside the school all the time . ”

Maru nodded . The man seemed incredibly free to him . Unbound like the wind . Unlike a leaf that follows wherever the wind goes, but the wind itself, free to choose where it wants to go .

“I don’t actually like to say this kind of stuff to kids, but I’ll tell you this since you seem to be pretty centered . I didn’t live that long, but from my experience… No one is born equal . ”

“No one’s born equal?”

“Yeah . You can even look at a person’s physique to decide . Tall people, short people . Handsome people, ugly people . Rich people, poor people . No matter how much society tries to make people equal, there’s a very clear class divide no matter where you look . ”

Maru nodded . This much was somewhat agreeable . It was the reason why he decided to give up on corporate life after 45 years . He couldn’t take it after seeing his junior receive a promotion faster than him . Especially when he clearly did more work than his junior .

‘I was innocent . ’

He had no idea why this was the case back then . But he realized later on that this junior was the president’s son . In the end, nepotism was better than actual results .

“People are never equal . That’s why they all have different talents they’re good at . ”

Geunsoo looked down at the field below . Maru took a look down as well .

“That kid over there might be talented at soccer . That kid playing basketball might actually be a table tennis genius . That kid sitting over there might be the future Shaquille O’Neal . ”

Geunsoo continued talking as he stretched his arms a bit .

“But no one knows what kind of talent they have . Schools are built so that they can learn about their talents, but… you should know better than me that they usually hurt more than they help . ”

Geunsoo started walking .

“Elementary school is, well… there for elementary education . Then middle school . Middle school’s there so you can start getting an idea of what you’re good at . At least, that’s the purpose of schools that the government always talks about, but in reality? You’re just being pushed into a chicken coop to study all day . How are you supposed to find your talents in the meantime? It’s hard . Incredibly difficult . But sometimes, the crazies still manage to stand out from the crowd . Like me, for example . Oh, this is a self-complement, if you couldn’t tell . Anyways, if you think about it, the crazies are the ones to really learn from school . ”

Geunsoo grinned . For sure, the man had thought much about school . Miso definitely wasn’t lying about intelligence being necessary in becoming an actor .

“Han Maru, was it?”

“Yes . ”

“What do you want to do?”

“Me?”

What did Maru want to do? He decided to answer honestly .

“I want to find a job that can feed my family without worries . ”

Geunsoo snapped his fingers in understanding .

“So that’s the reason why you’re hesitating . I get it now . ”

“Do you have any advice?”

“Nope, not at all . ”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t think I’m in a position to say things about someone else’s life . The only thing I can do is try to drag other people into acting . Just as I did 13 years ago . But you’re already in the acting club, so there’s nothing more that I can do . ”

Geunsoo walked back to the door .

“Keep thinking . Keep hesitating, and then make your decision . You’re still going to regret it in the end, but that’s just life . ”