A LITTLE TOUCH OF ROSE - EPISODE 19

???? Rosita’s standpoint ????

Three day after Meena and the girls decided I need to impress Zedekiah. Meena and Hime just kidnapped me in the middle of class and pulled me to their rehearsal. So, I was sitting there with legs crossed as I watched them sing and dance with their back up dancers. They were actually good, but my smart brain was analysing the problem with them.

“Watashi wa futsūde wa arimasendeshita
Sore wa mama ga watashi ni itta kotodesu
Sore ga watashi ga dō arubeki kadesu
I never was once a girl
At least that’s what I’m told
Shōjikina tokoro, sono tawagoto wa furuku natte imasu…” Hime sang. (I’ve never been normal
That’s what mama told me
That’s just how I should be
I never was once a girl
At least that’s what I’m told
And honestly, that shit has gotten old)

“When other girls wanted dolls
I rather play with guns
Tanoshikattashi, tanoshikattadesu…” (It was joyful, and yes it was fun)

Meena was great, really. But she had a problem of speed. She moved faster than the others which made them look stressed out while trying to keep up with her speed. Hime was up to her speed, but distracted by watching her own feet.

“Meena-chan, slow down,” I said, “you are going faster than the others, therefore stressing them.”

“I am?”

“Yes. And Hime, eyes up front, not your shoes. I know they are new, but focus.” They nodded and started all over again. Meena slowed down this time, but they were all still distracted.

“You are all distracted, what are you thinking about?”

“Mentally making plans for you and Zed-senpai,” they chorused. I smacked my forehead in dismay. They continued singing, still thinking about what doesn’t exist.

“I love black instead of pink
I rock grey, boy, what ya think?
I look better in rip jeans
Heavy chains and big stoned rings,”

“Gēmu o misete kurereba, tomarimasu
Teokurede wa naku, fuseina purē wa arimasen
Aete romansu o tameshite mimasen ka
I’ll just redraw my hand…” (Just show me games and I’ll stay
Not too late and no foul play
Don’t you dare try romance)

“Pull a gun out from my pocket
Don’t be shock if I shoot faster than rockets
I’m a badass for that’s my hobby…”

“I’ve got it!” Hime exclaimed. “What if we make it a pool party?!”

“Yeah! Then Rosita-chan will have no choice but to be sexy!”

“Picture her in bikinis, glorious!”

“Picture Zed-senpai seeing her, jaw down!”

“Ya! Focus on the song!” I yelled.

“Oh yeah, right,” do you know how frustrating it is to be with people who don’t listen? It’s insufferable! They weren’t listening to anything I was saying.

“You don’t even know me
So why so quick to judge me?
Don’t call my difference madness
Sore wa hontōni tadashiku arimasen
Anata ga motto yoku shitte ireba
You’ll know not to judge me so fast
Watashi no chigai wa watashi o tokubetsuna mono ni shimasu
Or don’t you think so?” (That’s not really right
If you knew better
My difference make me special)

After rehearsal, they all bundled me into their limo and kidnapped me to their private shopping mall, or something like that. Somehow, they ended up kidnapping confuse Sakura, who was now encouraging them! So there I was, legs crossed and my mouth parted as I stared at the ridiculous set of bikinis they were showing me.

“Neesan, what do you think of this one?” Sakura asked, while shyly holding up a matching thong and bra.

“Sakura, bikinis, not underwear,” I growled. The girls squealed with excitement.

“She should totally buy that one for their first night together,” Hime squealed, causing them all of squeal too and cup their cheeks. Their eyes zoned out.

They were fantasising about it!

“You guys!” I screamed, waving my hands frantically to get their attention, “cut it out! Stop thinking about it! That’s disgusting!”

“But can you imagine it?” Meena said dreamily, “Zed-senpai’s eyes going wide when he takes off her clothing to reveal the sexy underwear. Then Rosita-chan give him a sexy smirk and unhook her bra…”

“And his eyes pops out when he sees her massive tits…”

“I do not have a massive tit! Or tits!”

“You kind of do, Neesan. Reasons why you were voted this year’s Big Breasted Star,” Sakura said calmly.

“What! And you didn’t tell me!”

“Oh, did I forget to mention that?” She asked thoughtfully and shrugged. Hime squealed again.

“Oh, I’m getting wet just thinking of how he’ll pull the thongs down with his teeth,” the girls shrieked in agreement. I was breathing heavily from being too paranoid and Romi was finding it very amusing as she was laughing.

“Do you think they will use a condom?”

“Jesus! Sarah! Stop thinking!” I screamed at one of the girls. Another, Sachie, came to me and patted my head.

“Don’t worry, Oneesan, this sexual tension would be sorted out soon,”

“Hm mm,” they hummed in agreement. I face palmed myself.

“So let’s choose both sexy panties and bras for the sex nights and of course, the bikini,”

“There will be no sex night,” I cried.

“Come on, Neesan, you need to be able to appear there totally hot, like I’m talking smoking hot,” Sakura said with excitement.

Meena nodded in agreement, “Sakura-chan is right. You need to be hot, like ‘make him get a permaboner’ kind of hot,”

“Make him pass out because he can’t handle your divine sexiness hot,”

“Like ‘I need to change my personality and life decisions’ smoking hotness,”

“Like ‘I broke my neck trying to look at a sexy girl’ kinda hot,”

“Like ‘Gosh! I’m horny’ kind of hot,”

“Like ‘I just cummed in my pants’ kinda hot!” We all turned to the door to look at who shouted. The girls, except Sakura, shrieked and threw their hands in the air.

Standing at the door was the female version of Odin with China blue eyes, brownish gold hair and olive skin. She wore a yellow loose sundress, a sun hat and some kind of weird wooden sandals. Her brownish gold hair flowed down from the hat, over her shoulders, down her breasts and stopped right at the beginning of her stomach. She was beautiful.

“Yuki-chan!!!” They screamed and rushed over to the girls. They all jumped on her, squealing and giggling like mad people. I looked at Sakura who shrugged with a vibrant smile on her face.

So this is the famous Matsumoto Yuki, hmm. Not bad.

“Yuki, we’ve missed you,” Sarah sobbed, “it’s been so long,”

“Yeah, it has. How was Scotland?”

“Boring without my best friends,” Yuki said with a wink and then laughed. They all stood up from the floor they were sprawled on and all began talking at the same time. Somehow, they were understanding each other despite the noise.

“I’m so glad you and Nii-san are finally dating, it’s about time!”

“Yeah, I know, thank you,”

“I’ve always rooted for you, Oneesan,” she said gigglingly, “and now I’m here to support my new best friend to get the love of her life!”

“Oh no,” somehow, I knew that best friend was me. She rushed over to me with an unexpected speed, so fast I almost didn’t see her. She took my hand in hers and looked at me with big twinkling eyes of determination. “Don’t worry, Sugar Dumpling, I’ll help you get back Zed-senpai even if it’s the last thing I do!”

“You are all being unnecessarily dramatic!” I shouted.

“Shhh,” she sibilated with her finger to my lips, “we know you are using defence mechanism mode, trying to convince yourself that you are okay, that the breakup didn’t shatter you. But we know, we know you are in pain and you want him to see you more than anything else, for him to hold you in his arms once again and love you for the rest of his life, for him to be your Romeo! So we would help you get that dream because that’s what friends are for.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Meena sobbed, wiping her tears. They were all crying.

“Rosita-chan, we’ll be here for you now you need us the most, that’s why we are friends. Don’t worry, Zed-senpai would love you again!”

“Yeah!” They cheered. Sakura burst into laughter, uncontrollable laughter.

“Now let’s get back to finding us hot bikinis! I want to surprise Darra baby!”

“Me too! Odin would drop his jaw when he sees me and my package!”

“And mine too!” I had enough of going down the road alone, so I smirked and looked at Sakura who was still laughing.

“Did you girls know that Isaac and Sakura used to date before he dumped her the day he denied her?” Sakura’s laugh turned into a gasp.

“They did?” Meena asked with wide eyes.

“Yup, and he popped her cherry too,” I said smugly.

“To come to think of it,” Hime said with a stroke of her chin, “that would explain her hatred for him, he dumped her for that other lame chic.”

“And the way he keeps staring at her now,” Sachie added, “total longing,”

“They still love each other but don’t know how to get pass what happened between them,” I added with fake sadness. They all simultaneously turned to trembling Sakura and grinned, giving her the eyes they had been giving me.

“Sakura-chan, we’ll help you fix this,”

“And you can get your boyfriend back!”

“Operation ‘get Sakura and Isaac-kun to see they still love each other and get Rosita laid so her love life would be back on track’ is a go!”

“Yuki-chan, that’s too long,” another girl said.

“How about operation ‘get our friends a boyfriend’ is a go?” Meena asked.

“Or, ‘operation cupid’ is a go?”

“No,” Yuki said with a snap of her fingers, “operation make the boys go whoa!”

“Yes!”

Oh dear.

Zedekiah’s standpoint

Thoughts, never in my life did I ever imagine that I would be one to be trapped thinking about nonsensical things, but here I am. The newest nonsensical thing was shocking me. Rosita Donahue, my greatest enemy and rival. I’d spent so long hating her without even having a reason to hate her. I thought it was because of how my parents tried to force her on me, but after what she told me, maybe it’s not.

She knew me, she knew well. I thought she didn’t care enough to, but she knew me even more than I knew me. She said it all out without hesitation or the slightest hint that she researched it. The way she said it, it showed she had more she knew, more she could know and more she could tell. She already figured me out when I hadn’t figured myself out. It meant that all this while when I was hating her, she was watching me, observing, memorising.

Rosita cared about me. The moment it registered to my brain, memories began flooding my head and replaying to me every time I closed my eyes. Rosita never for once tried to hurt me, only made it seem like so but I didn’t notice it. I thought she hated it, but she didn’t. When I poisoned her for real, she shot me but intentionally missed. Now I know she missed so I wouldn’t get hurt. And when she eventually shot me, she made sure the bullet was at the surface of my arm and easy to remove.

When she planted a bomb in my car, it was a remote control one. Why didn’t she set it off when I was inside? Why did she let me walk to a safe distance before she did? Why did an ambulance show up almost instantly when I didn’t call for one and I know no one did. If it was me, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill her, let alone send help on the way before I do what I want to do. The time she locked me up in a casino when we were younger, no one would have found me but somehow, they did.

I didn’t think about it, but I remembered that when I first opened my eyes at the hospital, I could have sworn I saw her at my bedside holding my hand. But when I opened it again, she was gone. I thought I was hallucinating so I let it go, but maybe I wasn’t seeing things after all. Every time she pulled a prank on me, it was never hard. And when it was one to kill me, she somehow saved me. I didn’t know why I didn’t see it before, why I didn’t think about it. Maybe my false hatred for her grew so intense that I refused to let my subconscious tell me the truth. Instead, I convinced it to convince me that she was worth hating.

False hatred. Why did I hate her? What did she do? I knew now. I remembered how dad showed me her picture when I was younger, and for a long time, I crushed on her. Then one time, I snuck after dad, I saw her. She was in some kind of gym, training. Rosita was almost eleven then, but she didn’t act like one. I watched as she fought with an android ten times her size, and she was winning. She moved so lightly on her feet, moved with grace and with the swiftness of the wind. Then after training, I watched her speak to two adults. The way she spoke, the way she carried herself, it was just too much for me.

Then doubt came and I felt like she was way pass my league, more than I deserve. I hated the fact that she made me feel that way, I hated the fact that she made me doubt my worth. So I turned all the self-pity and hate to her, so much it shoved all the memories of my crush on her and everything that made me like her. So when our parents introduced us four months later, I acted like the asshole I am. It was completely unreasonable and childish. She didn’t tell me to like her and then feel stupid about it, that was all me.

I remembered how she acted when she saw me, she was happy and was trying to remind me of something, but I pushed her away. Rosita tried, she kept trying for two months to show me that we could be friends, but I treated her badly until she stopped and became the devil that justified my childish behaviour. But yet, it didn’t stop her from sending me flowers every time I fell ill, sending me stickers of the coolest and latest cars and that cream puff I liked.

I always wondered who the sender was. Even when I moved to Japan to permanently stay, the anonymous person still sent it with a note that always said fourteen words: “don’t die, at least not when I don’t want you to yet. Be safe”. But as usual, I tagged it as nothing. Looking at her handwriting on my notebook and to one of the notes, I knew it was hers

She had earlier angrily scribbled “worldwide idiot” on the back of my book, but when I saw it, I couldn’t help but notice the similarity. It was so obvious but I didn’t think of it. I mean, who in the world draws a rose above her I’s or write as if she was drawing roses. The writing was beautiful and remind one of nature. How she managed to perfect it was a mystery.

It just concluded everything I didn’t want to accept. Rosita didn’t hate me, she never hated me, she just cared and wanted to be friends. She wanted to be friends with the son of the two people she held so dear, she wanted a brother or a best friend, to not be lonely all the time, but I ruined it. And even with everything, she was still watching over me. This kind of information isn’t something you can process easily. It means I have been living in a lie I created for myself. And even if I knew she didn’t feel towards me the same way, I was starting to accept the facts she laid down. I had some kind of feelings for her, and not knowing what scared me; however, I wasn’t as clueless as she gave me credit for. I knew this feeling all too well because I had been there before.

I liked Rosita, more than just a friend.

I was however still stuck on how I could abore such feelings for her and still grow intense feelings for the other girls I have been with. Maybe because I concealed it or maybe I never really felt anything for them. It was my mind transferring what I felt for Rosita to them. But again, I really liked Alyssa and I knew Rosita then. How then… Urgh! So difficult to think about!

I threw myself back on the bed with a puff and let my eyes remain on the ceiling. I let my mind think and think, to analyse every single memory so I could come up with something. But it was still blank.

“Yo, man, aren’t you going to get ready for the concert?” Odin’s voice broke me out of my deep thoughts. I turned my head so he could see my sad face. “Oh, still thinking about it?” I nodded. I didn’t tell him, he observantly figured it out like he mostly do, so I told him.

“I don’t know, Odin,” I covered my face with my palms, “my feelings are jumbled up inside me, toppling over one another and it’s shattering me. I don’t get how I can bottle up my feelings for her for so long and still like someone else all the time, it makes no sense!”

“Well, technically,” he sat on the bed beside my head, “you can like up to ten people at the same time but one would always be stronger than the others. And sometimes, the others could be a infuriation from the strongest you feel, especially since it is bottled up. I can tell you that you did had a crush on Alyssa but you never liked her but mentally convinced yourself that you did so you would have an excuse so your mind won’t wander back to the real owner of your heart…”

“That’s not possible, I felt something strong for Thalia and Kanna and even Ema!” I shouted defensively.

“I never knew why, I could never figure it out, not until I met Rosita and knew it.” He said with a small smile, eyes boring into mine.

“Knew what?”

“The girls you minorly felt affection for: Kiki, Delta, Renho, Sachiko, Mei, Edith, Tamoe and Kikyo, they were all unique in their own kind of way. But the ones you deeply felt emotions for, like Kanna and Thalia especially, they all shared similar traits, like you wanted them to be someone yet not someone. I could never place my finger on it,” his finger was in his mouth as he spoke thoughtfully, “when you met Thalia at camp, the time I met you, I could tell you liked her for a specific reason that wasn’t related to her but couldn’t fathom it. It was just there.”

“What are you talking about?” I scoffed.

“You liked Thalia more than the rest because she reminded you of Rosita more than any other. Tell me, why did you like Thalia? Tell me one incredible thing about her that attracted you to her? Or maybe three.”

“Easy, her laugh, her stubbornness and insane love for roses,”

“And Kanna?”

“Her voice, her stubbornness and how she walks,”

“Ema?”

“She’s always quarrelling with me and proving stubborn. Plus, her smile and her voice.”

“And Elisabeth?”

“What is the point of this?” I sighed.

“Tell me, what about Elisabeth attracted you? Let me guess, her voice, the pattern in which she speaks and her calmness at all times, right?” I gave him a confuse look. He laughed and smack my arm. “Don’t you see it? There are all traits of Rosita! You liked Thalia more because her laugh was almost like Rosita’s, she was almost as stubborn as Rosita, gave you a glare almost like Rosita, and loved roses exactly like Rosita. Her personality was more similar to Rosita more than the others. She even has Rosita’s complexion…”

“T…”

“Let me finish. Kanna’s voice might not be Rosita’s, but it gives off almost the same thing hers does; peace, ununderstandable warmth, comfortability, happiness. It also sounded like a croon, a melodious lullaby but it doesn’t have the power to make you think of caramel apple when you hear it. Even though, it is something close to Rosita’s voice. Again, the stubbornness and how she strides nonchalantly, just as nonchalant as Rosita’s. Ema, again with the stubbornness and how she always fight with you just like Rosita and her voice has the caramel urge, but not the smooth tender deepness or all the comfortability fuck. And her smile is almost like Rosita’s, always serious. As for Elisabeth, you can guess. All the girls you liked were calm because Rosita is calm, even if you make her act like a psycho. And above all, they all had rosy cheeks, just like Rosita.” He ended his unbelievable explanation.

As much as I wanted to throw myself into self-denial, I knew he was right. They all did have traits of Rosita, and I didn’t even know.

“I…I…”

“As for Alyssa, you convinced yourself that you liked her so you wouldn’t think of Rosita and so you would have the perfect excuse to see her all the time. According to what you told me, whenever you met up with Alyssa, she would always find a way to drag Rosita to the same room or drag you to Rosita. And when she wasn’t doing that, she would mention her a lot. That way, you got the information you needed to carry on your subconscious feelings. There, that’s the reason.”

“But why?” I cried. “Why do I like her so much? It makes no sense!”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “It made no sense to fall in love with someone who I supported when she learnt how to walk and talk, and even witnessed her first mensural circle, but here I am, madly in love with her. It doesn’t need to make sense, it just happens. And the fact that you tried to resist it, made it a challenge. Haven’t you notice that the most denied and rejected emotions are the strongest? Like the more you deny loving that person, the stronger it would get?” He raised a brow at me. “And when you finally realise it and let it out after so long, it comes with a great force, compelling you to love that person no matter what. It doesn’t always happen, doesn’t always end that way, but it happens and it just did to you like it did to me. There are just some people a heart cannot let go of, that person you can’t give up. Take Isaac for example. After everything, he still won’t let Sakura go, and that is a rare kind of love.”

“I don’t love her,” I murmured.

“Yet, you don’t love her yet. But trust me, man, you will.”

Did I want to? Wouldn’t it be best to just let it go like it is nothing? Wouldn’t it? Could I even let go now I knew? Rosita isn’t a bad person, and she was still pure. Nothing stood in my way. Our parents wanted it, our friends saw nothing bad in it. The only problem now was the two of us.

Odin stood up and patted my lap, “come on, man, get ready. Yuki is surprising everyone with her return at the concert and she would be very piss if I don’t bring you there,” he raised his phone and turned it on. “According to her, I must bring you there or suffer the consequences of a thousand teddy bears.” He chuckled.

Maybe a distraction was what I needed. And beside, I had to eventually show up for a concert held for both Zodiac and Lucky Seven.

Rosita, get out of my head and my heart.